Now You Can Listen to anti-Japanese Rap Song “Fuck Zapan” Courtesy Mutant Frog Travelogue

DJ Doc
One of my first posts for Mutant Frog Travelogue concerned the strange case of an anti-Japanese rap song from Korean rap group DJ Doc (pictured above). In my infinite magnanimity, I translated the unintentionally hilarious lyrics:

Are you going to lie about your own history?! (Hai!) Go ahead and lie, you deceitful pigfeet!
Pussies! How much will you lie, pigfeet?! Keep on lying, Japs!
Lie to your mom and dad! Lie to your mom and dad!
Will you eat your mom? (Hai!) Is that OK? Yeah, that’s fine! That’s just fine!
Retard bitches! Go and have a seizure!
You barbarian, epileptic Japanese!
Mouse-dicked Jeps “Japan is our toilet!”… FUCK!
Pucking nation.. Chapan is a Pucking nation*4 (repeat 2x)

The post proved to be one of our most popular and generated comments that ranged from the merely curious (“Can’t we ALL just get ALONG?!”) to the downright deranged (“You’ll never look as good as the white man. so go eat some kemchi or sushi or shrimp fried rice you slit/slant eyed freaks.”).

Unfortunately, the site I originally linked to took down the audio clip, and I accidentally deleted the MP3 I had. But now I’m feeling generous again, so here it is again in all its amateurish glory! I’ve saved the file here, so this song will never again be lost to history. Try singing along using my English version of the lyrics!

(Thanks to ZMPK for making the song available again and Saru for taking the time to search for it)

Energy Crisis SOLVED

Check this out!

Friday, March 3, 2006

Japanese Scientists Extract Gasoline From Cow Waste

TOKYO (Nikkei)–Once considered useful only for fertilizer, scientists are finding new uses for cow excrement as a result of technological developments.

Researchers at the Tokyo University of Agriculture and Technology have found a way to produce gasoline out of cow waste in a tie-up with the National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology.

Using metal catalysts, the partners have successfully produced 1.4 milliliters of gasoline out of 100 grams of such waste after applying 30 atmospheres of pressure on it and heating it to 300 C.

The research partners believe a large facility capable of converting cow excrement into a significant volume of gasoline will be in demand from livestock farmers, who have a hard time disposing of the waste. They hope to commercialize such a facility within five years.
Continue reading Energy Crisis SOLVED

Takara, Tomy Merge, Force Creepy Flagship Characters to Fight to the Death in Thunderdome-like Battle for Supremacy

Just kidding about the fighting part, but get a load of that walking nightmare on the left! I can feel her extracting my soul with her plastic eyes.

(Link on picture goes to Japanese story. English press release here. Takara makes the Game of Life and Tomy specializes in licensed baby toys like Teletubbies and Thomas the Tank Engine)

OK, so I had a dream with this insane concept for a movie

I have lunch with Roland Soong and his Chinese girlfriend (petite, bubbly voice, intelligent) at a Chinese restaurant in a Japanese city (Osaka?). We discuss poverty in Japan and China and I mention something about a black underclass in Japan. We discuss other really intelligent things and then go and take some kind of weird water ride that’s kind of like underwater paddleboats. The end of the ride deposits us in a huge pond where this funny white guy is splashing everyone.

Then we walk outside the building, which was white with this glass exterior. I have a thought that I really like it when people have toothy grins and the reason I don’t like people sometimes is just because their smiles are a little off, or really just not toothy enough.
Continue reading OK, so I had a dream with this insane concept for a movie

If the poison doesn’t kill you, the implications will

A simple rhetorical question…

[8:44] Joe: if hootie and the blowfish ate fugu, would it be cannibalism?
[8:45] Adamu: if just hootie ate it then no
[8:45] Adamu: but it might be impossible to separate hootie from the blowfish

But then, this spanner got thrown into the equation:

The band’s name comes from two of [lead singer Darius] Rucker’s friends, neither of whom was ever a band member. One, with a round face and glasses, was nicknamed Hootie because of his perceived owl-like appearance. The Blowfish also got his nickname from his facial appearance, in his case chubby cheeks.

So it wouldn’t be cannibalism as long as “Hootie and the Blowfish” refers to the band, and not to the actual Blowfish. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

On a side note, a friend of mine just had a very bad experience with fugu prepared by his girlfriend. He didn’t die (fortunately), but it made him quite ill. So, a tip for all you Japanophiles out there: Don’t eat your girlfriend’s fugu unless she knows what she’s doing!

Akebono to Diet? – it’s not what you think

Atsushi Onita, ex-wrestler and member of Japan’s Upper House of parliament (Liberal Democratic Party, Proportional Representation) has publicly encouraged Taro Akebono, Sumo wrestling’s first non-Japanese Yokozuna, to make a run for a seat in next year’s Upper House election. Since retiring from Sumo entirely in 2003 to take up a career as a professional wrestler/kickboxer, Akebono (born Chad Rowan and raised in Hawaii) has seen his respectability drop quite a bit, not least because he keeps losing his big matches. However, it’s certainly possible that enough people will vote LDP to make him the first American Diet member. Daily Sports reports:

Akebono: Run in the Election!
Onita Calls on Akebono to Run in Next Year’s Upper House Election at LDP Headquarters in Nagata-cho

“Let’s light a fire under Nagata-cho!” (NOTE: Nagata-cho = Japan’s version of Capitol Hill) — Atsushi Onita (48), LDP Upper House member and self-described professional wrestling/fighting sport analyst, held an emergency press conference in Tokyo on Feb. 14 at the LDP Headquarters in Tokyo to make a “love call” for Akebono (36), the former Sumo Yokozuna and [naturalized] Japanese citizen, to run in the Upper House election next July. Onita elevated Akebono to the level of “the savior of professional wrestling” and even unilaterally offered to initiate him with a no-rope barbed-wire electric-explosive death match (Onita’s trademark). A national crisis may arise if a grand battle unfolds in a Diet-floor-turned-wrestling ring.

Onita, at a press conference the same day announcing the release of his new single, “FIRE!!” (released Feb. 15), started off, “The savior of professional wrestling is Akebono. I would like to hand over the catch phrase ‘FIRE’ that the pro wrestling world gave birth to and have him become the momentum for wrestling’s development and revival.” (NOTE: Listen to Onita’s band here by clicking the music note. “FIRE!!” does not seem to be up on the site yet. His music is surprisingly mellow for a guy who made a living throwing people into exploding barbwire!)

Certainly expectations are high for Akebono, who is taking the major wrestling groups All-Japan Pro Wrestling, NOAH, and New Japan Pro Wrestling by storm, but by “momentum for development and revitalization” Onita is referring to entering politics.

Onita (who is known as “the charisma of tears“) explained, “While enlisting the aid of politics, I would like him to carry out ambitious reform of professional wrestling. If Onita, Hiroshi Hase (Lower House, Ishikawa 1st District, another wrestler-cum-LDP Dietman), and Akebono come together then [we could put our heads together]” He then bluntly stated, “I want him to run in next year’s Upper House election. Only through overcoming that battle can he become the savior.”

The retired wrestler had scathing remarks for Akebono’s wrestling partner, Riki Choshu, “He’s training him normally, but normal just isn’t good enough. I want to initiate him with an Onita-Akebono no-rope barbed-wire electric-explosive death match,” proposing a subversive method of training.

Onita expressed full confidence in the recommendation, saying, “It’s OK, I don’t select people the way Takebe does,” referring to the controversy over LDP Secretary General Tsutomu Takebe’s strong endorsement of (now reviled) Takafumi Horie in the 2005 election. Onita says he wants to take Akebono to the Diet member meeting house to negotiate as early as next week.

Go for it, Akebono! I’ll get Mrs. Adamu to vote LDP if you run. Or better yet, run on a DPJ ticket!

Some background:

Japan has something of a tradition of professional wrestlers, actors, authors, athletes, and so on, in politics. Wrestling legend Antonio Inoki (who once fought Muhammad Ali and got knocked out and hospitalized by Hulk Hogan) formed the Sports & Peace Party in 1989 and became the first wrestler Diet member (PR). Recently, the Great Sasuke (JT, reg. req’d) made international headlines when he ran (and won) a seat in the Iwate prefectural assembly despite refusing to take off his wrestling mask.
Continue reading Akebono to Diet? – it’s not what you think

Calling all meatcutters!

I ran across this while perusing the Federal Government’s job website. I think i might be a little underexperienced with a cleaver for this one, but I know somewhere out there, someone will see this and think to themselves, “I am so qualified for THAT!”

MEATCUTTING WORKER / MEATCUTTER
Salary Range: 28,028.00 – 44,265.00 USD per year

Job Summary:

Consider the rewards that this challenging opportunity may provide. In this position, you may supervise, lead, assist, or perform work involving cutting, trimming, and removing bones from meat and preparing and processing fish and poultry. This includes cutting meat into steaks, roasts, chops, cutlets, ground meat, and other small cuts, using powered equipment such as meat saws, slicers, grinders, and hand tools such as meathooks, knives, saws, and cleavers. A great opportunity is just a click away ? apply now.

And, if Japan ain’t your thing, how about beautiful Guam?

MEATCUTTING WORKER
Salary Range: 10.20 – 19.48 USD Hourly

Work Schedules: May be part-time ( 16-32 hours per week ), intermittent ( work on an as-needed basis ), or full-time ( 40 hours per week ).

Major Duties: The work involves cutting, trimming, and boning meat, fish, and poultry using hand tools and operating power meatcutting equipment. Receives instructions on work to be done and the tools and equipment that will be needed. Through day-to-day assignments, Meatcutting Worker becomes skilled in standard meatcutting techniques and broadens knowledge of established methods of processing assigned cuts.

Qualifications: To meet the screenout for this position, applicants must show they have the ability to do the work of Meatcutting worker without more that normal supervision. Examples of experience that would indicate this ability is Basic knowledge of the muscle, seam, and bone structures of different kinds of animals, the ability to learn methods of processing meat when given detailed instructions; and skill in using hand tools such as knives, scrapers, and handsaws.

Education Requirements:
There are no minimum education requirements for this position.

“Basic knowledge of muscle, seam and bone structures of different kinds of animals?”

I wonder what kind of people this type of job attracts? Are there people out there who aspire to this kind of work because they are actually passionate about muscle, seam, and bone structure?

I am not poking fun (well, not too much anyway) but am genuinely curious. I never even knew “meatcutter” was a job title, but as of 10:01 am EST on 02/17/06 there are nine meatcutting jobs available with the Federal Government alone. Has anyone out there ever done this type of work and would be willing to share their experiences in the comments section?

Why the Frog Bridge is Stupid


Ampontan at Japundit had a thought-provoking post on the “Kaeru Hashi,” or Frog Bridge, that was built on central government largesse in Inami-cho, Wakayama Prefecture:

I can’t begin to explain how quintessentially Japanese this entire story is. They’ve managed to use a historical Japanese figure for inspiration, connect him to a unique public works project to gain a little recognition in a cheerful, positive way, and incorporate the Japanese love of wordplay. When I was new to the country, unaware of the extent to which I was affected–or infected–by the sense of fashionable, cynical irony so endemic in the West, I would have rolled my eyes until they slid out of their sockets at the dorky hellokittyishness of this bridge and the people who built it.

After all these years in Japan, however, I’ve come to realize that cynical irony is a dead end street and learned to appreciate the sincerity, simplicity, and earnestness of the emotion behind efforts such as those of the people of Inami-cho. I wish them the best, and if I’m ever in their neighborhood, I’ll be sure to stop by to look at the bridge and buy some vegetables or flowers. I’m sure they’re excellent. You can even see the bridge if you’re just passing through–they built it so that it’s visible from the local JR train station.

People at Japundit were too mesmerized by the hypnotic power of the bridge to respond to my comment, so here it is for my MF peoples:

You seem to present two possible interpretations of the Kaeru Hashi: cynical-ironic dismissiveness or appreciation for the earnestness of the people’s efforts.

Perhaps I haven’t spent enough years in Japan, but there must be at least one other way to look at something like this, because I think, with no irony whatsoever, that this bridge is a gaudy and horrible waste of money.

I mean, consider it this way: when you go into the house of a married couple and find that the wife keeps it decorated nook and cranny with frilly lace, pink bunnies, and countless antiques, scented with nostril-burning potpourri, and kept immaculately clean, do you (a) Appreciate the sincerity, simplicity, and earnestness of the emotion behind the woman’s efforts; or (b) Feel sorry for the poor schlep of a husband who has to put up with such tacky interior design (and probably isn’t allowed to sit on the couch)? I for one would choose (b). This bridge and other such projects look as if the federal government gave a team of domineering housewives with bad taste a million dollars to waste on whatever silly civil engineering project they could come up with.

That million dollars could have been put to much better use than yet another bridge. The problem is that the funds these towns get are tied to programs like the euphemistic “Self-conceived self-conducted Regional Development,” so they are forced to actually build something. If the federal government were truly interested in revitalizing these small towns (instead of padding the wallets of construction companies), they could have steered the money toward, just for example, scholarships to regional universities or maybe even incentive programs for industries.

The problem isn’t so much of different “worldviews” between the Japan and the “West” but rather one of the corrupt central government exploiting the small towns for its own benefit. It’s funny you call this post the “Great Leap Forward” because these types of federal programs actually do resemble China’s great leap forward in that they force local governments to perform economically unsustainable activities. The towns aren’t starving, at least, but without true economic development they are facing a slow death – depopulation. Koizumi’s “Trinity Reforms” are supposed to end the cycle of addiction to public works that afflicts the outlying regions of Japan by putting more tax revenue in their control, but prospects for their effectiveness are moderate at this point.