In case of earthquake, don’t even think of running

One of the shows on NHK this morning was talking about earthquake preparedness. Recently there’s been something of a boom in literature about what to do in the event Tokyo spontaneously falls down. If you go to bookstores around here, you see competing lines of evacuation maps, survival guides and the like.

The blurb I caught on my way to work was about evacuation. After a major earthquake, the trains stop running and the elevated expressways are likely to have fallen down in places (think Kobe, 1995), so the only way to get out of the city is on foot, taking surface routes.

This doesn’t sound too bad until you realize how many people are in the city, how narrow many of these surface routes are, and how likely they are to be blocked in places by falling power poles and other debris. One think-tank wonk made a computer simulation of an evacuation of downtown Tokyo, and figured that the streets in shitamachi (i.e. the area around Tokyo Station and Ginza) would be crowded to the extent of about 11 people per square meter. That’s about the maximum number of people you can squeeze into a square meter; imagine the worst Tokyo subway cars at rush hour, expanded to the size of an arterial street.

Yet another reason why we need flying cars NOW.

Quick Koizumi Awesomeness

  • Koizumi rides in Keio University-designed electric car, loves the “awesome speed.” (For video, go here in Internet Explorer, wait for it to load, click “skip,” click “1ch,” then click the 3rd link down with the picture of the car. Worth all the effort I promise!)
  • Koizumi has to teach notoriously unsophisticated former PM Yoshiro Mori how to do the Japanese tea ceremony while wearing awesome kimono. (Click “300k” for video)

Saaya Irie, cohorts to Stop Posing in Bikinis — MF Breathes Sigh of Relief

In an earlier story that provoked a lot of interest here at MF, we reported that Chinese internet forums were humming with interest over model Saaya Irie, an 11-year-old girl with gigantic breasts, pictures of whom were apparently uploaded by Japanese trolls (Good background at Wikipedia as usual).

Message to the sick perverts who flooded me with confounding rationalizations for why it’s OK to get wood to an 11-year-old: You should be ashamed! Your intense pedophilic interest for an 11-year-old girl has creeped her and her associates out so badly that she has decided never to pose in a bikini again, reports Nozomi Online (a Jpop news site in need of a proofreader) in October 2005:

As a result of all this attention, the members of [Irie’s] singing troupe “Sweet Kiss,” which include 13-year old Runa and 11-year old Jessica, have also considered no longer posing in bikini’s [sic]. A statement by Ishida Yuuichiro, the groups management, revealed that they had never expected such feedback from the internet and adult magazines. He concludes that although the media attention was beneficial for the group, he didn’t want them to focus on Saaya’s large breasts and wanted the group to be recognized for talent and not Saaya’s large breasts.

I and all other rational souls out there commend the decision to keep the girls clothed (But wait a minute! Run your mouse over the “News” section of Sweet Kiss’s official site — bikinis!). But one look at the cleavage-centric photos in question makes it clear that Ishida is being, shall we say, a little disingenuous. I can believe that he was surprised, and even disturbed, at how well the exploitation worked, but his claim that the supposedly immense “talent” of a group of preteens is getting unfairly outshined because of one member’s unfortunate growth spurt goes beyond ludicrous. In this light, Nozomi Online’s take on the issue is puzzling:

The most terrifying aspect of Sweet Kiss might be that the fledgling group, with next to no ties to the music and television industries, might depend on the media stir caused by the oversized bust of a girl yet to enter her teenage years. Only the future holds the answer to whether or not the artistic integrity of the group can overcome an overflowing F-cup.

Indeed, it is terrifying to think that the public exploitation and sexual objectification of young girls are considered normal in Japan. But don’t be so quick to exculpate the people who took the photos in the first place! Continue reading Saaya Irie, cohorts to Stop Posing in Bikinis — MF Breathes Sigh of Relief

Entering Japan, refugee-style

Good morning, Frogheads! I got back to Tokyo earlier this week, but thanks to my school’s very poor taste in temporary housing, I haven’t been able to get online. Fortunately there are Hotspots all over the place, so all hope for blogging hasn’t been totally lost. I’m currently reporting to you live from a Mos Burger overlooking the Yamanote Line, or “the ringworm of Tokyo” as Adamu calls it.

I had a different experience arriving at Narita this time, because I did it without a visa. It’s not that I was too stupid or lazy to get one; there were circumstances. Continue reading Entering Japan, refugee-style

Jenkins Pulling a Debito!

Looks like he’s had it: Charles Jenkins, the American who defected to North Korea 40 years ago and wound up marrying Hitomi Soga, a Japanese woman there against her will, has decided to turn his back on America once again, only this time he’s doing it legally. As early as next week, the former US Army Private (who is living on Japan’s Sado island with his wife and children) intends to apply for Japanese citizenship.

Note: Check out the video (will probably be taken offline shortly because TBS sucks) for great footage of him doing some weird thing in a swimming pool.

(Japanese story follows)

Continue reading Jenkins Pulling a Debito!

Nippon TV’s Online Video News Site Improved

The video news site of Nippon TV (日テレ) has undergone a rebirth; no longer known as Nippon News Network 24, they have renamed themselves “NTV News 24.” In addition, the video streaming is much smoother at 300kbps and comes in clearer. Try the full-screen version!

Now all they have to do is make it a constant stream for it to be perfect. I wouldn’t mind if they included commercials even, as long as it kept me up to date on the goings-on in Japan. Sometimes the print news sites (such as Asahi with its appallingly tiny photographs) just don’t cut it.

Taiwan’s pigs grow ever more fearsome

You may have already heard that researchers here in Taiwan have just perfected the technology of genetically modifying pigs to glow in the dark. This is apparently going to be very useful for research, since every scrap of pig material also glows green, and I imagine lets you more easily locate bits that you’ve dropped on the floor.

According to the report, “In daylight the researchers say the pigs’ eyes, teeth and trotters look green. Their skin has a greenish tinge.”

There is no word yet on how bioluminescence will affect the God Pig industry. According to a report last year in the Taipei Times “some farmers even pour metal into their pigs before a contest in order to increase the swine’s weight.” All said, we seen to be well on the way to one-ton partially metallic bioluminescent god pigs. All it takes it one minor lab accident and we’re in the middle of a 1950’s horror movie.

More Kabuki

Meaningless charade

The moribund hearings have been as predictable as a Kabuki drama. Barring a major miscue, Alito’s inscrutability will carry him to the Supreme Court

As predictably as a Kabuki drama, the media is using the metaphor of a kabuki drama to describe boring politics.

It’s hard to avoid the conclusion that the Daniels/Eichwenwald Kabuki dance reflected a conscious effort to avoid invoking the homosexual angle in the story.

Newsbusters refuses to watch gay kabuki.

International dialing

Figuring out exactly how to dial a phone number in one country while in another country (particularly if neither one of them is a country with which you have much telephonic experience) can be a huge pain in the ass.

Just a few minutes ago, while making sure I was telling someone in Japan the correct way to reach my apartment line, I stumbled across this very handy website. It lets you specify a dialing and target location and very conveniently breaks down the entire dialing sequence into whatever international, national, or local dialing prefixes apply.