Category: Ranting

Ranting

What Adamu thinks: Prime Minister Shinzo Abe

Being the preeminent experts that we at the Mutant Frog Travelogue are, some Japanese university student has decided to use us as a primary resource for a major research project (or more likely, the subject of one of the countless “survey the foreigner” projects they give in university English classes). Here’s what the questioner wanted to know:

Dear Mr. Mutant frog.
Hello! I’m a [Japanese] University student. I get your e-
mail address at MUTANT　FROG　TORAVELOGUE. [This university]
is Japanese university. Our English class was to sending e-mail which
has some questions about things which have interest.

Questions.

・ What do you think Prime Minister Shinzo Abe?

・ How will Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe be different
from the ex-Prime Minister Koizumi?

・ Do you think Japan become better? And I want to listen to your
opinion.

Thank you.
From [a] university in Japan.

Continue reading What Adamu thinks: Prime Minister Shinzo Abe

The JET Program turns 20 – time to put it to sleep?

The Nikkei yesterday printed a brief article on its front page praising the JET Program, a scheme by the Japanese government that exists primarily to place native English teachers in Japanese classrooms, for almost 20 years of “truly significant benefiting Japan”. An excerpt:

Saturday, November 11, 2006

CHRONICLES: JET Program Marks Two Decades Of Benefiting Japan

This year, 5,508 young people from 44 countries, including the U.K. and U.S., are teaching foreign languages — primarily English — at schools throughout Japan.

Almost 20 years have passed since the program was created. Ceremonies to mark the anniversary are planned for the near future, so let us consider what this program has accomplished.

English language abilities among high school students have perhaps risen a little, but the truly significant fact is that about 50,000 young people from around the world who have participated in the program have returned to their home countries after getting to know Japan. Many of the JET alumni have gone on to play important roles in relations with Japan.

The forerunner to the JET program was the BET (British Exchange Teaching) program, and the record shows that the current program exists in part because of the efforts of former Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi, then a member of the House of Representatives. Koizumi had studied in Great Britain, albeit for only a short time.

The JET Program started back when the idea that putting a foreigner in the classroom would work wonders for English education was just gaining steam. But as I have noted, the number of JET participants has declined in recent years, in part because English-teaching industry has matured since then. Nowadays, English conversation schools can be found almost everywhere in Japan, and a school that wants to hire a foreigner can hire one more quickly and easily through private placement agencies or by advertising directly to the large pool of teachers already in Japan. The Wikipedia entry for the program notes that several prefectures have opted out of the JET Program in recent years. So is it time to follow the Koizumi model of “letting the private sector do what it can” and leave the hiring of English teachers up to market forces?

Not yet, I say, and I think the Japanese government would agree with me. The Nikkei gives one very compelling reason why this program, and its $400 million annual budget, remains important: the JET Program is a veritable factory for “Japan handlers” who will go on to careers dealing with Japan in their home countries. It is well-known that the Japanese government has made a point of cultivating Western “Japan experts” since before WW2 in order to boost its international image, and the JET Program has simply proved an especially efficient example of that practice, along with other programs aimed at boosting international exchanges to Japan that began in the 1980s. By hobbling young college graduates early on with 3 years of meaningless semi-teaching, the government can steer them in the direction of a lifelong involvement with Japan, with a small percentage going on to success in various fields. Accordingly, Japanese companies and Japan-related institutions instantly recognize JET experience as synonymous with a familiarity with Japan and tolerance for the Japanese office culture, and often (but not necessarily) Japanese language skills.

And the results are clearly visible. Many if not most of the foreign staff I’ve encountered at Japanese or Japan-related organizations have been JET alumni. More importantly, a good deal of US government employees who deal with Japan (at Department of Commerce, etc) spent time in JET, as have Japan-related employees of other governments, I’m sure.

Now, it’s also true that many of the Japan watchers and others who may go on to “play important roles in relations with Japan” have spent time in the country as privately funded language teachers, exchange students, or even Diet members’ assistants (in the case of Mike Green, Washington’s Japan hand-in-chief). But the fact of the matter is foreign workers are far more likely to enjoy their time in Nowheresville, Japan, if they are able to enjoy the pampering offered by the Japanese government – in addition to a comfortable salary, housing, transportation, and other benefits come standard. Wouldn’t you be happy with the country that let you save enough to pay off your student loans while giving you a cakewalk job?

Saaya Irie on YouTube

My quick letter to YouTube:

Dear Youtube:

It looks like dozens of videos of 12-year-old Japanese actress Saaya Irie are making their way around your site. At least one video was popular enough to appear on the top videos of Japanese YouTube search site, Qooqle Clippers. I watched the video, and it’s of Irie in a white bikini with a cameraman in the background telling her to pose. She is 12 years old making suggestive poses. It looks like something out of a Stephen King novel. One hopes that a nightmare sewer clown killed the cameraman moments after the video was shot.

As much as I like your service, videos of this nature are highly inappropriate and may be illegal under US law. In the off chance that you view one of the many videos on your site depicting Saaya Irie and conclude that she is engaging in nothing more risque than normal child modeling, let me assure you that she is intended for the Japanese softcore child porn consuming public, as has been documented (see links below). Often in Japan, child acts make a show of appealing to fellow youngsters while in fact courting older fans who then purchase “photobooks” that feature no nudity but are nevertheless softcore pornography. While tolerated in Japan, an American site should not in good conscience enable this behavior. Considering the extent to which you accommodate copyright holders to ensure that infringing content is deleted in good faith, I can only hope you will make the utmost effort to remove material that depicts child exploitation as well.

Regards,

Adamu

Links: 1 2

News to me: Rocky was based on a true story

I was recently reminded of the Rocky movies when I was assigned some translation work related to the new sequel that’s coming out. Don’t ask me what it was, but I’ll tell you one thing: if I never hear the exchange at the end of the trailer again (Boxer: “What it that, from the 80s?” Rocky: “More like the 70s”), it’ll be too soon.

The Rocky movies have been great for their cheesy charm (sweet music), Rocky’s dogged determination and slurred speech (caused by Stallone’s own real-life speech impediment), and finding just the right mix of sports movie cliches to make them work. They inspire me (to the extent that I ever get inspired) in basically the same way as the awesome training scenes in Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. That’s why it was especially heartwarming to hear from Ask Yahoo! that there really was a Rocky:

Sylvester Stallone’s signature character was inspired by a real-life boxer named Chuck Wepner.

Wepner, who calls himself “The Real Rocky,” had been a professional pugilist for many years when he challenged Muhammad Ali for the heavyweight title in 1975. An ex-Marine, Wepner was asked before the fight if he thought he had a chance against the Greatest of All Time. Wepner allegedly answered, “I’ve been a survivor my whole life…if I survived the Marines, I can survive Ali.”

In fact, Wepner did more than just survive. In the ninth round, he actually introduced Ali to the canvas. Wepner eventually lost, but he was the only fighter to ever knock down Ali while Ali was the champ.

Stallone watched the fight and soon went on to write “Rocky,” the story of a down-and-out boxer who gets his shot at the heavyweight title and goes the distance against a boisterous and beloved champion.

I’m sure, had I been old enough and cared about boxing, I’d probably be aware of that major event in Ali’s career. Still, it’s news to me. I don’t suppose the real Rocky went on to fight drug-addled supercommunists, though, did he?

So, that’s my message to the Democrats today: go the distance and see try not to lose by decision!

Your seatmate is NOT your psychologist

This NYT article struck a chord with me:

WHAT is it about flying in an airplane that seems to remind some passengers of a church confessional?

I remember flying overnight from New York to London next to a dour-looking middle-aged man who kept his peace until his second Scotch. Which is when he revealed that he was a civil engineer. A very, very unhappy civil engineer.

“My profession gets no respect,” he griped. “We design all your bridges and roads, but when do you hear anything about a civil engineer?”

He didn’t wait for an answer.

“That’s right,” he continued, “only when a bridge collapses! And why should I be blamed when the contractor probably chose the lowest bidder?”

…

Another seatmate, a young Navy enlisted man, spent the first several hours of a transcontinental flight studying a book whose pages contained all kinds of triangles, arrows and symbols. He closed the book as our plane began descending to land and spoke to me for the first time.

“Don’t tell anyone,” he confided in a low voice, “but I am actually flying the plane.”

It all had something to do with an arcane kind of witchcraft, the key to which was in the book he held closely, he said. I hoped his job in the Navy involved a desk, not weapons.

I don’t fly nearly as much as the author, but I must be a magnet for this kind of behavior. I’ve had a 13 year old girl brag to me about making out with restaurant valets, a Japanese emigrant to America tell me about her 50 year long marriage to an Army officer, a half-Japanese chemist talk of suing to protect his farmland near Narita Airport, and several others who for some reason thought I was just the right person to tell about their problems. It would be one thing if I actually made friends with someone on a flight, but in these cases I always end up feeling used like the proverbial hole in the ground. Sometimes it is marginally interesting to hear some random person’s whole life story, but it almost never cancels out what I lose in reading or sleep time. People should really just keep their mouths shut unless they actually know how to have a conversation.

USJ’s Xmas tree almost certainly pissing off KWBB workers

Nikkei gives shameless free promotion to Universal Studios Japan’s Christmas festivities. This year, like most others, the park has an enormous Christmas tree as the centerpiece of its nightly Christmas-themed fireworks jamboree:

USJ xmas tree im20061102NN002Y4980211200613.jpg

Ah, memories… I used to work as a hamburger cook at the KWBB hamburger restaurant at USJ, which was located right next to the big tree at Christmastime. Though I was explicitly banned from criticizing the theme park when I was an employee, I feel that 3 years is sufficient leeway for me to complain about how annoying it was for us to listen to the ultra-perky Disneyland ripoff that passed for a Christmas show every night as I toasted buns and burned myself on the industrial-strength hamburger grill. Occasionally, the closing shift would end just as the Xmas show (and non-xmas park-closing shows) reached its finale, allowing me to catch the tail end- lots of explosions, lots of jetskiing, lots of loud lipsynching to 50s doo-wop standards as hundreds of Japanese middle class families looked on in ultra-earnest wonder.

Now don’t get me wrong – your average visitor will no doubt find USJ an enthralling thrill of Hollywood cinema come to life, and the Christmas fireworks show at closing time can be an excellent end-cap to a day filled with ET rides and Terminator 2 action shows.

It’s just that for me, hearing the same bit every day got to be excruciating, just like hearing the same 20 American pop songs (“Happy Ending” by Avril Lavigne and “In da club” by 50 Cent in addition to standard 80s songs like Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf”) over and over can get tiring, as in any job. One song that I never got tired of for some reason was “Magnet and Steel” by Walter Egan, a song used as “atmosphere” music just outside the restaurant.

My all-time favorite USJ attraction was the Universal Monsters Live Rock And Roll Show™, the ultimate in high-concept irony in which the famous “Universal Monsters” led by none other than a wisecracking Beetlejuice, croon topical pop songs (as of 2003 featuring “Smooth” by Carlos Santana feat. Matchbox 20’s Rob Thomas). Quoth the corporate literature:

Beetlejuice cranks up Dracula, Wolfman, Frankenstein and The Bride of Frankenstein for a mega-monster rock show filled with screamin’ demons and wailin’ guitars.

\m/ !!! Watch these video clips of the rockin’ monsters covering Bon Jovi and Kiss to see how awesome it really is. This clip of the Orlando version of the show is a bit more topical (Outkast’s “Hey Ya” makes an appearance – rock!).

My Mexican Experience in Thailand – ¡muy malo!

PA200004 resize.JPG
As part of the week-long birthday festivities for Mrs. Adamu, on Friday we had the chance to visit Charley Brown’s Tex-Mex Cantina, one of the few places in Thailand that can claim to serve anything close to Mexican food. I ignored Cosmic Buddha’s reservations about the place and decided to go anyway. Some thoughts:

  • I’ll start with something positive: in terms of food, there was nothing Thai about it at all, so my taste buds could forget they were in Southeast Asia for an hour or so. But here’s the bottom line: I’ve had El Paso instant taco mixes in the US that were about on par with this. Seriously, it barely registered as restaurant-level Mexican food. I give the place credit for at least giving it the old college try, but I’d wonder whose white grandmother was making the stuff if I had it back home. No discernible flavor to the meat, and the end product felt very mashed together. My chicken burrito was smothered in cheese on the outside that made it soggy (unexpected bonus – the refried beans tasted just like the beans they serve at Popeye’s chicken!). On top of that, it ended up being one of the most expensive restaurants I’ve ever visited in Bangkok – the bill came to 800 baht (approx US$20) for two dishes offering middling portions and 3 Heinekens. Here’s what it the burrito looked like:

    • PA200001.JPG

  • The manager of the establishment, a young British-sounding man named Chris, made a go at being friendly and asked how our meal was. This practice of returning to a table after the meal is served and asking how things are going is standard for the US but is something I had never seen until I came here. Still, it was a little off-putting when he decided to put off bringing us our bill to down a shot with some other ex-pats, who made themselves enough of a part of our dining experience that they earn their own bullet point below:
  • Our experience was badly marred by its intended customer base: Western tourists and sexpats. Mrs. Adamu and I could barely carry on a conversation over a boisterous group of Aussies, and people filtered in and out from a nearby outdoor whites-only drinking establishment. Worse than that, however, had to be the pasty white men and their Thai hooker escorts sitting at the 3 tables around us. Nothing ruins a meal faster than seeing some 50-something ‘Nam vet pawing at his new plaything between bites of enchilada. Oh, and their fat bodies bounced around enough to rattle Mrs. Adamu’s seat since the booth chairs were connected. We kind of knew what to expect after we tried to eat there unsuccessfully on Monday (it’s closed on Mondays, a fact that didn’t make itself known on the online site we checked), since to get there one must wade through myriad cheap crap stores, decrepit beggars, and numerous prostitution venues. The area outside the Nana skytrain station is notorious as a red light district, so in that sense it’s our fault for going in the first place.

    • Recommendation: unless you have no problem with sex tourism and are sure that you’ll never ever visit a part of the world with good Mexican food again, stay away from Charley Brown’s.

    Quick note on the NK Nuke Test

    Go read about the test elsewhere (“Fundamentally changes the landscape” is a good one as well as Washington Post’s just-the-facts coverage), but I just have one thing to say that I’m sure the news reports won’t focus on:

  • NK’s July 4 missile tests: rained on America’s Independence Day
  • Monday’s nuclear test: Screws up Columbus Day in the US and Sports Day in Japan.

    • Both were long weekends, both incidents required top US leaders to wake up in the middle of the night.

    Exploding an in-your-face nuclear bomb just isn’t enough for Kim Jong Il, he’s so evil he won’t even wait till the US has had its morning coffee! Well, I’m sure the government pays overtime for whatever non-exempt employees have to respond.

    Update: One country’s interrupted holiday is another’s celebrated holidays:

    UPDATE 7: Why today, you might ask? Well, Korean-language Money Today suggests that because today—Oct. 9—falls between two holidays in Korea: the anniversary of Kim Jong-il assuming the position of Korean Workers Party general secretary ( Oct. 8 ) and the anniversary of the founding of the Korean Workers Party ( Oct. 10 ).

    Just go back to being pretty, and leave the discourse to others, please

    Japan has a large population of aesthetically pleasing women. However, when they start babbling like this, that appeal wears off pretty quickly.

    This is by no means meant to be a generalization. There are plenty of women here who are interesting and fun conversationalists. There are plenty who don’t look all that hot. But the cute and mindless type seem to end up with young urban Tokyoite guys pretty frequently. To quote my boss, “you have to take them out to really nice restaurants, so the quality of the food will keep you from falling asleep.”