Lady Goes Crazy on Trading Spouses

Awesome! DARK SIDED!!!

Reminds me of when I went to Baptist services with my friends when I was a kid.

As shocked as I am to see such a misguided and hateful person, I have to admit that it’s a dream of mine to one day appear on television shrieking so violently that I need subtitles to be understood.

Taken from AndrewSullivan.com.

After some thought, I have decided that you can keep reading this blog even if you don’t believe in Jesus.

Control yourself, man!

Pop quiz: You’re a man sitting on the train in suburban Japan, minding your own business. The attractive lady sitting next to you nods off and unknowingly rests her head on your shoulder. You:

a) Pretend like nothing is happening
b) Wake her up — she’s distracting you from your Yukan Fuji!!
c) Silently appreciate how safe Japan is since this kind of thing happens all the time
d) Seize the moment — cop a feel!

If you chose d) then you might one day end up in jail like the not-too-bright fellow featured in this report from Nikkan Sports:

JR [West] Employee Fondles [Woman] on Fukuchiyama Line

The Takarazuka Precinct of Hyogo Prefectural Police arrested JR West employee Takao Ohashi (39) on November 29 for a red-handed violation of the Prefectural Nuisance Prevention Ordinance for touching a woman’s breast while riding on the JR Fukuchiyama Line.

According to police investigations, Ohashi works for JR West’s Osaka Construction Office‘s Keiji (Kyoto-Shiga) Office. The man, who had the day off, is suspected of touching the breasts of a woman who sat next to him on the express train while it was traveling from Kawanishi-Ikeda Station to Takarazuka Station at 12:15pm.

The woman raised her voice, upon which another rider who noticed took Ohashi off the train at Takarazuka Station and reported him to the Precinct via a station employee. Ohashi has reportedly told police, “The napping woman‘s head cuddled up on my shoulder, so I couldn’t help but touch [her breasts].”

[2005/11/29/19:43]

My new life in Japan


Conversation I had with MF a few weeks ago while we were taking a look at Japanese satellite TV operator SkyPerfecTV’s channel offerings:

MF: you should just quit your job and fly to japan next week
MF: screw the apartment
Adamu: dont tempt me
MF: you can get a job at nova
Adamu: haha
MF: and then go home to your sweet, sweet tv
Adamu: ok now that IS sad
MF: and a big can of kirin
MF: or asahi dry
Adamu: asahi
Adamu: id have to have a good tv
Adamu: maybe i could get those tv goggles
Continue reading My new life in Japan

Happy turkey day

Some thoughts from Christopher Hitchens in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal (print edition, which I only read when travelling by air):

Considering Thanksgiving, that most distinctive and unique of all American holidays, there need be no resentment and no recrimination. Likewise, there need be no wearisome present-giving, no order of divine service, and no obligation to the dead. This holiday is like a free gift, or even (profane though the concept may be to some readers) a free lunch—and a very big and handsome one at that…

It is the sheer modesty of the occasion that partly recommends it. Everybody knows what’s coming. Nobody acts as if caviar and venison are about to be served, rammed home by syllabub and fine Madeira. The whole point is that one forces down, at an odd hour of the afternoon, the sort of food that even the least discriminating diner in a restaurant would never order by choice.

You know, he’s right on that last part. Facing a cooler of cheesecake and pumpkin pie at Costco the other day, I picked the pumpkin pie with no deliberation. And although pumpkin pie is tasty, I would have picked the cheesecake on any other day of the year, again with no deliberation. That’s cultural brainwashing at work. Not that I’m complaining; pumpkin pie is like autumn leaves, the sort of thing a year wouldn’t be complete without.

Drinking on the job just got a whole lot healthier?

beer yeast pills?

Saw this in an ad for “Asahi Super Beer Yeast” from the Nikkei.

Fortified with vitamins and minerals! This is the oyaji equivalent of marketing sugared cereals as “part of a balanced breakfast.”

One may recall my post on this topic a while back.

Two possibilities: a) His comments weren’t accidental at all but a strange form of viral marketing; or b) Someone at Asahi got the idea for this after his comment and possibly other propaganda started creating a buzz for healthy effects of beer. Hell, they already sell “Diet” happoshu.

The popularity of these “snake-oil” products in Japan simultaneously fascinates and infuriates. They clearly have no medical value but are popular in part due to the deep belief by many Japanese people in superstitions like the ability of blood type to determine personality. Even those who don’t buy in still know their blood type and know how to work it into a conversation. It may be sapping the time and energy of Japan’s biggest drug companies, but it sure is fun to watch.

That is not to say Americans are free from this parasitic organic supplement craze. Look at this ad for “brewer’s yeast” (spelling errors corrected):

Brewer’s Yeast is an excellent source of protein and several B-vitamins.

It is produced by cultivation of Saccharomyces cerevisiae on malted barley in the production of beer. After fermentation, the yeast is separated from the beer, roller dried and debittered.

Why not just eat food with protein and B-vitamins in it? I’m not an expert, so I’d appreciate the opinion of anyone knowledgable in the medicinal benefits of yeast (I mean, I thought it caused infections?!)

Ghosts in Burma

At precisely 6:37 a.m. last Sunday, according to one account – with a shout of “Let’s go!” – a convoy of trucks began a huge, expensive and baffling transfer of the government of Myanmar from the capital to a secret mountain compound 200 miles to the north.

Diplomats and foreign analysts were left groping a week later for an explanation of the unannounced move. In a country as secretive and eccentric as Myanmar, it is a full-time job to try to tease the truth from the swirl of rumors and guesswork, relying on few facts and many theories. (NYT)

Over 1200 years ago, the Japanese Emperor moved his capital from the unfinished Nagaoka-kyo to the site of present day Kyoto to escape from the vengeful ghost of a falsely accused prince. It would seem that Burma’s military government has just done the same thing.

While many experts consider this move to be a strategic relocation to a seat of government from which they can more easily suppress peasant rebellions, the bizarre secrecy and inexplicable suddenness of the move have given rise to two competing theories about the reasons behind the move.

First, like Japan’s Kanmu Emperor, to secure a location more suitable to the channeling of the beneficient energies derived from Chinese geomantic superstitions known as fung-shui.

“Myanmar leaders might have sought astrologers’ advice and believe the move can improve Myanmar’s feng shui [the Chinese belief in energy flows depending on wind and water] of Myanmar” U King said.

“Myanmar leaders are strong believers in feng shui. When Ne Win ruled Myanmar [from the 1960s to the 1980s], he considered relocating the capital for the sake of feng shui,” U King said. (Taipei Times)

Second, to fortify themselves against an imagined attack by the Americans.

Seen from their perspective, the notion of an American invasion might not seem far-fetched. They are a ruling clique of soldiers whose background is jungle warfare and who know little of the outside world.
[…]
In January, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice included Myanmar in a list of “outposts of tyranny,” along with North Korea, Cuba, Iran, Zimbabwe and Belarus.
[…]
“The joke going around is, ‘After diamonds, gold,’ ” he said. In the Burmese language, “sein” – as in Saddam Hussein – means diamonds. “Shwe” – as in Gen. Than Shwe, the leader of the military junta – means gold. (NYT)

Burma’s rulers seem to be spooked by things that go bump in the night, but exactly which ghosts are they so scared of?

The symbolism behind Olympic mascots

The five friendlies are an incredible little family carefully chosen by Beijing 2008 to represent all of China to carry a message of friendship to the children of the world.

So said International Olympic Committee president Jacques Rogge over the weekend in a statement that was read at a nationally televised gala at a Beijing sports arena to mark the 1,000-day countdown until the Games.

With that usual Chinese flair for combining numeration and words that sound like they should have no plural in English, Beijing announced its mascot(s) for the 2008 Olympics, “The Five Friendlies.”

5F

Reading the story got me curious about past Olympic mascots, so I set out to do a little research on the topic. On a side note, for those who want to put a wager on the Olympics, they can conveniently do so on sites such as 홈카지노.

The tradition of selecting a mascot for the games began in 1968 with the Winter Olympics held in Grenoble. The first mascot was Schuss, and was a figure with a large round head crouched down on a pair of skis. Schuss was followed four years later by Waldi, the first official mascot, which was a multicolored Dachshund chosen to represent Munich in the 1972 Winter Games.

Since then, every host county has chosen a mascot that more or less symbolized some representative aspect of local culture or that was symbolic of the games themselves. Los Angeles had Sam the Eagle in 1984, Moscow had Misha the Bear in 1980, and Montreal had Amik the Beaver in 1976. At least three of Waldi’s colors were official Olympic colors, and Japan chose four mascots to symbolize the four years between the games. (The one possible exception, which I like to tell myself is no symbolic reflection on U.S. culture, is Izzy, the cosmic nightmare that Atlanta dreamed up for the 1996 Summer Games.)

So now we add to those ranks The Five Friendlies. But what of their symbolism? Apart from the obvious meanings (e.g. Panda, the Tibeten Antelope, etc…), are their names – Bei Bei, Jing Jing, Huan Huan, Ying Ying, and Ni Ni. Perceptive readers with a some knowledge of the Chinese language will recognize that taking the first syllable of each name yields the phrase, 北京欢迎你, or “Beijing welcomes you.”

This is not the first attempt at such punnery. The Japanese chose as their mascots for the 1998 Nagano Olympic Games, the Snowlets, four owls with the names, Lekki, Tsukki, Sukki, and Nokki. Taking the first syllable of each of their names produces the wonderfully Japanese phrase, レッツ・スノー, which rendered into English is, “Let’s Snow,” something that makes sense (even in English) only to Japanese or to gaijin who spent time in country (and even then, the verbal usage of “let’s” as a verb can prove confusing for foreigners.)

These choices reminded me of something an undergraduate history professor of mine once said about the Japanese and Chinese languages. He told our class that the first thing a Chinese teacher does is to give every student a Chinese name in Chinese characters. From then on, that is your name when you are speaking Chinese. The Japanese not only don’t give anyone a Japanese name, but they have an entirely separate phonetic system to express the Japanese version of foreign names.

Those readers who have spent time in either of these countries probably already see what he was getting at, but it has to do with the degree of inclusiveness of each culture. And at the risk of sounding too culturally deterministic, I think there is something similar to be said about the choice of mascots by these two countries. Japan’s Snowlets were clearly meant for a domestic audience, which is fair enough. After all, Japan was hosting the games. But their attempt at linguistically and symbolically reaching out pales in comparison to the Chinese effort. (It also shows one of the things Japan does best these days – cuteness.) While I’m sure China no doubt hopes the Five Friendlies will be a hit domestically, everything from the choice of the word “friendly” to the welcoming pun formed from their name indicates the kind of message Beijing hopes to send to the world.

China’s choice also says something about the degree to which its “peaceful rise” diplomacy has been incorporated in creative and non-traditional ways into popular culture. Whether one buys into the message or not, one can’t accuse the Chinese of not trying.

That said, their efforts proved vain in winning my heart for the best Olympic mascot ever, which hands down goes to the unofficial mascot of the Sydney Games…

Fatso

…Fatso, the fat-arsed wombat.

Recommended reading: Okamoto’s Iraqi “Food” Diary

If you’re “nihongo-ready,” or don’t mind wading through unreadable text to look at awesome photos, visit Okamoto’s Iraqi “Food” Diary. Hiroshi Okamoto is a photographer who went to Samawah, Iraq on assignment. He took pictures of food, people, more food, more people, and the occasional borderline war zone. And, like any good Japanese person, he complained about the lack of beer.

Adamu’s initial response: “That is the most hep blog ever… tagging AND Iraqi food!”

East Asia in sexual trouble

Coming Anarchy filed a report on the latest Durex Global Sex Survey (get the PDF here). Some disturbing numbers to report out of East Asia. First of all, Chinese women have unnecessarily exciting lives, demonstrated by the following rates:

China Japan World
Unplanned pregnancies under 16 17% 1% 4%

Unplanned pregnancies, 17-19 18% 2% 5%

Unplanned pregnancies over 19 20% 6% 10%

Sexually transmitted infections 18% 8% 13%

East Asians don’t particularly like their sex lives, but don’t seem to have high aspirations, either.

China Japan World
“Happy with my sex life” 22% 24% 44%

“Don’t have a high sex drive” 17% 16% 7%

“Sex life is monotonous” 17% 13% 7%

“I wish I had sex more often” 20% 25% 36%

Note that China has an historical aversion to sex of sorts, although things are changing there rapidly. Still, Japan is much sluttier than China: the average Japanese person has had ten sexual partners, while the average Chinese has had only three. Surprisingly, though, vibrators are slightly more popular in China than in Japan. Go figure.

UPDATE: Younghusband linked to the Japanese reaction in the comments over at CA. Priceless quotes:

Chisato, 28: “The problem is that many men are not aggressive enough in Japan. They are timid and do not hustle hard enough to get the opposite sex into bed.” SUSTAINED

Kawachan, 19: “Japanese in general are pure and not as perverted as other countries, when it comes to sex.” OVERRULED