Category: Japan

“You’re such a Japanophile, your picture is in Wikipedia”

Seriously. Quote from one of the people supporting the picture’s inclusion in Wikipedia:

I reapplied the picture from the original inserter because it fits the catagory properly. It is only helpful to the this word listing, and follows closely what the wiki definition is. Saying he is an expertert in Japanese culture is pretty bogus, but then again, a Japanophile never really is classified as an expert. It says within the definition itself as a misguided interest sometimes. “Japanophile” is not something that one person can represent, but this picture and what this person has done makes this picture adequate.

Then someone decided to replace the picture with Lafcadio Hearn. Then someone added the picture back, saying:

Though the addition of Lafcadio is notable, it was far from purposes of benefit of the article, but more to suite your harassment of the “Japanophile” picture. You seem to be trying to crash this picture as well as the one simular on another article for your own personal goals, not the benefit of Wiki. Lafcadio does suit this article, but I have reinstated the previous picture also as it touches on the fanatic/popular culture side of Japanophile which is so common today and what most people recognize the word as.

This is one of those rare situations where you can really learn more from the commenters at Japundit than from Wikipedia.

Kikko Misjudges English “Nuance”

Japanese uber-blogger Kikko scoffs in her most recent post at what she terms lame and unpatriotic promises that certain celebrities have made “if Japan beats Brazil” in the upcoming World Cup match. Kaori Manabe, for her part, has reportedly promised to “hold a Carnival in a bikini” in the off chance Japan can topple the current World Cup defenders. Sure, maybe they shouldn’t be prematurely predicting Japan’s elimination in the first round, but to me it makes perfect sense to make wild wagers when the odds are stacked in your favor.

In the (as always, too long) intro to her post, however, Kikko-san makes some interesting claims about the English meaning of the word “cop”:

Speaking of Croatia (NOTE: the team Japan recently tied against in the World Cup), that’s the homeland of (PRIDE kickboxer) Mirco Crocop. Since I heard it a while ago, I know that Mirco, who worked as a police officer, took that ring name from the “Cro” in “Croatia” and the English “Cop” meaning “police officer” to make his ring name “Cro-Cop” meaning “Croatian Police Officer.” In other words, since a robot police officer is “RoboCop,” then a Croatian police officer would be “Crocop.” But “cop” has the sense of “beat cop” (NOTE: omawari in Japanese) or “po-po” (NOTE: pori-ko in Japanese) or “the fuzz” (NOTE: mappo in Japanese), doesn’t it? “Police officer” (NOTE: keisatsukan in Japanese) means “police” or “policeman” [in English], as in “strange police officer” or “a policeman with his nipples in the wrong place,” so “cop” has more of an informal (NOTE: kudaketa in Japanese) connotation. Then, if you pronounce it “cop” (NOTE: as it is normally pronounce in English; “cop” in Japanese is normally pronounced COPE-poo), then it has an even more informal connotation. So if someone says “Cops are coming!” then it’s like “The fuzz are here!”

Um, no? First of all it’s always pronounced cop (i.e. カップ; it would be different in British English, I guess, but that doesn’t change the meaning at all). And another thing: “cop” is something of a colloquial term, but it has none of the pejorative connotation contained in the Japanese satsu, pori-ko, or mappo (unless I misread these terms), or even the English slang “po-po” or “fuzz.” Any lame-o on the street will “call the cops” on someone if they’re acting like a douchebag. Your posts are always enlightening, Kikko, but you might want to stay away from analyzing the “nuance” (a Japanism meaning “connotative meaning”)of the English language.

UPDATE: In related/parallel lives “news“: Home Depot Criticized For Pledging $10 Billion To American Cancer Society For Every Padres Home Run

Vietnam Man Awakes only to Find His PENIS IS MISSING!!! OUCH!!

Every man’s nightmare:

Man’s Genitals Removed As he Slept
JST, 6/19/2006

In Vietnam’s Dong Nai Province, a 49-year-old alcoholic named “K” awoke from a drunken stupor only to find his genitals had been removed! The culprits left no proof behind, and police investigations have met with difficulty. The man was immediately hospitalized and has since been released, but unfortunately his “stuff” could not be made the way it used to be.

Quiz: What was BOJ Chief Fukui’s 1st “Yellow Card”?

As many of you know, the Bank of Japan Chief Toshihiko Fukui is in trouble for not dropping an investment in the discredited Murakami fund after he took the position in 2003 (though he was not legally required to do so, nor was he required to disclose the investment through an uncanny oversight by regulatory authorities – the US, for its part, does require full financial disclosure from its FRB chiefs such as the last one, Alan Greenspan). It only makes sense since the BOJ Chief is the ultimate insider in a capital market.

In a recent column for his website, opposition DPJ Dietman Yoshihiko Noda (Lower/Chiba 4th) called the so-called transgression Fukui’s “second yellow card”, which in soccer means you’re out of the game.

Question: What is the first yellow card to which Noda is referring? Answer after the “jump”!!

Answer: He quit as vice chief in 1998 after it was found officials from banks, including the former Dai-ichi Kangyo Bank, treated Ministry of Finance and BOJ bureaucrats to “no panties shabu shabu” – at a restaurant Fukui is known to have regularly attended (though Fukui was never actually prosecuted for anything). Shabu shabu is a kind of Japanese meat soup – it’s good, and apparently even better when the waitresses aren’t wearing their underwear. It was this and other, much worse incidents that led to MOF’s financial regulatory authority being stripped away and given to an entity we know today as the Financial Services Agency. And now you know!

Required Movies for American Japan Watchers

The following is slightly modified from a response to an e-mail I received requesting recommendations for good “films on Japan” such as Lost in Translation of The Last Samurai.

The recent double threat of Lost in Translation and Last Samurai (but not the dud Memoirs of a Geisha), like some other popular Japan-themed films, were all good, entertaining movies, but I never felt like any of them gave me much insight on my experiences in Japan. As an alternative, I present my picks, in descending order of how highly I recommend them, that weren’t necessarily the best-made or most purely entertaining, but nonetheless got me thinking about the US-Japan relationship or the experiences I had while I was (ostensibly) studying there:

Fog of War (2003) – Essentially a long interview with Robert McNamara, Secretary of Defense under Presidents Kennedy and Johnson and WW2 vet who helped orchestrate the firebombing of Japan in 1945. The movie is great on so many other levels, but I recommend this to those studying Japan for the sections that talk about “proportionality in war” and the wholesale bombing of Japan. America destroyed a majority of most of Japan’s cities and capped it off with two atomic bombs. Consider this – the US visited upon Japan heretofore untold destruction and chaos. McNamara asks: was this proportional to US aims? Having watched this movie, it makes perfect sense to me why many Japanese seem to treat visiting Americans as if the GHQ were still around. The film serves as a good conversation starter and a challenge to the bland rationalizations that Americans learned in their US History classes in high school.

Seven Samurai (1954) – I am in no way a film buff (look at my other recommendations!), but this movie is one of the best action movies I’ve seen from any country. Seven guys, and they all get a chance to kick some ass. This film is all about being a man, so ladies should probably stay away- that is, if they can resist the mysterious allure of Toshiro Mifune.

Mr. Baseball (1992) – Tom Selleck plays an aging Yankee sent to play for Chunichi Dragons. Hates it, won’t listen to coach, but in the end learns to work within the system while teaching his stuffy coach a thing or two and, of course, sleeping with his daughter. All you male ALTs out there could only hope to be so lucky! Then again, none of you are Tom Selleck. For better or worse, this is considered to be a pretty well-done “American fish out of water in Japan” movie. Even though the plot is something of a gaijin fantasy, it’s a generally true-to-life portrayal of Japan that can at the very least serve as a heads-up to some of the more obvious culture shocks (squat toilets, low doors, weird guys screaming strange English at you).

Whispers of the Heart (1995) – This is a movie from Ghibli Studios (think Princess Mononoke) about a little girl who falls in love with a fiddle-playing wunderkind and finds mystical guidance from a magical German cat. Boring! Forget the story and take in the sights as she walks around a lovingly and painstakingly detailed animated depiction of suburban Japan. I’d recommend this more to returnees than newcomers, but this movie could come in especially handy during those inevitable “Japan-hating gaijin” periods. I mean, if the Miyazaki crew could find this much to love about Japan, then there’s got to be some good stuff left over for little old you, too. One thing that didn’t sit right with me about WOTH would have to be the “dealing with your own mediocrity” theme that is featured in this movie and common elsewhere in Japanese pop culture (See “Sekai ni Hitotsu Dake no Hana” by SMAP). Call me an idealist, but I’m not ready to give up that easily, and neither should young Shizuku!

BTW, this movie turned me into a John Denver fan, and if watching it doesn’t make you a convert, then you should at least understand why so many Japanese people like him.

MXC – Show on Spike TV that’s a (loose) dub of an older Japanese show featuring host Beat Takeshi as he presides over the painful experiences of contestants in a brutal obstacle course game show. I can imagine nothing more humiliating in life than being run over by an enormous, papier-mache boulder and then being fire hosed by a Power Rangers villain as punishment. This should serve as a great introduction to Japan’s culture of humiliation, pointless endurance, and unabashed gaudiness. Sadly, this type of stuff is no longer typical of Japanese TV (at least when I was there, lots of tame talk shows, eating shows, and dating shows – though it looks like pain TV seems to be making something of a comeback these days).

Gung Ho (1986) – Funniest scene in this movie is the corporate re-education camp in the beginning (ribbons of shame, anyone?). Michael Keaton plays a union leader in the Midwest who convinces a Japanese auto company to take over a shut down factory. The American workers, including George Wendt of “Cheers” fame, get uppity when the Japanese managers expect them to work with no sick time or human dignity, as Japanese supposedly do. Never mind that real managers at Japanese auto factories in the US never tried this in real life. The plot twists this way and that, but eventually the workers make a near-impossible promise to become as productive as any Japanese plant within a month – Can they do it? Yes, sort of. The message? If only American auto workers would give up their silly unions and work themselves to the bone, then the jobs would stay. The movie suffers from some annoying performances, one-dimensional characters, and bad writing in general, but it is still worth watching just to see how scary Japan was to the US back in 1986. We let go of those fears a bit too early, if GM’s fate is any indicator.

Bad News Bears Go to Japan (1978) – The always-annoying Bears go to Japan to play an exhibition game at the urging of a scheister TV producer, and literally everyone ends up getting ticked off in the process, especially the audience. Recoil in horror as a 13-year-old “bad boy” (signified by a peach-fuzz mustache IIRC) Bear creepily stalks and tries to force himself on an unsuspecting Japanese girl. It’s pure dreck, full of unapologetically racist and willfully ignorant sentiment, and almost unwatchable. Why do I recommend it, then? Because this is probably how your mom and dad see Japan. Redeeming quality: wrestling legend Antonio Inoki makes an appearance. Grunting, fuming Antonio Inoki, folks. His shtick hasn’t changed a bit in the almost 30 years since this movie was made.

ANA’s president talks about the future of Japanese air travel

And it looks good for the rest of us, because he speaks of cheaper domestic and international flights out of Haneda. Which means that people in Tokyo can save a few hundred bucks on their airfares, plus the money and time it takes to get to Narita.

“We think we will see low-cost carriers in Haneda in 2009,” President and CEO Mineo Yamamoto told journalists in Tokyo last month at an event organized by Star Alliance. Speaking through a translator, he noted that current plans call for the number of operational slots at the airport to increase by 40% vis-a-vis the current level to 407,000 annually.

ANA accepts that it will lose some travelers to budget carriers but intends to maintain focus on higher-yield passengers. However, this may not be possible. “What we are most afraid of,” Yamamoto explained, is that Japan Airlines “will follow the strategy of LCCs like Skymark and enter the low-fare quagmire.” He said ANA is studying launching a domestic low-fare airline, although it appeared from his remarks that this more likely would be a countermeasure.

The carrier also is concerned that Tiger Airways or another Southeast Asian LCC will be given slots at Haneda to operate discount flights in Asia. ANA is evaluating using Air Japan, its leisure/holiday airline, to counter this threat. In this case, it would look at opening a base in Bangkok or Singapore staffed with foreign cockpit and cabin crews. In spite of the concern over LCCs, Yamamoto told ATWOnline that ANA is asking the Japanese government to double the number of new slots dedicated to international operations at Haneda from 30,000 to 60,000 annually.

In related news, the BIG CHANGE NAA took place earlier this month, in which the South Wing of Terminal 1 opened up for ANA, United and the other Star Alliance airlines. (The ads for it, with a girl deplaning from a hot pink Learjet followed by a badly-rendered Colonel Sanders-ish porter carrying her shopping bags, seem to personify all that is fecked up about Japan to me, but anyway.) The reshuffles will continue later this year when American, BA and the other oneworld airlines move to Terminal 2. Hopefully Keisei will use this as an excuse to change those old and busted seats on the Skyliner.

NHK goons about to get leaner and meaner

It won’t be pretty:

NHK has eight TV and radio channels: two for terrestrial TV broadcasting (general and education); three for satellite TV, including one for high-definition programs; and three radio channels including an FM service. Heizo Takenaka‘s panel argued that one satellite channel is enough and three radio channels are too many for public broadcasting.

The proposed reduction in the channels should be combined with substantial streamlining and downsizing of NHK’s bloated operations to allow a sharp cut in the viewing fees, the panel says. In return, viewers would be legally required to pay for NHK’s services under a new fee system, possibly supported by penalties for nonpayment.

If you’ve lived in Japan, you probably have some experience with the NHK henchmen who troll around apartment blocks trying to collect NHK service fees. Everyone has their own method of dealing with them: say you don’t have a TV, say you don’t get NHK reception, answer the door stark naked, scream in Turkish, etc. But I’m going to hate the day when NHK is legally empowered to collect from me. Sod off, Domo-kun.

Intelligent English-language Japan Blogs

Just thought I’d point our readers toward some stuff I’ve been digging lately:

Neomarxisme: I’ve been following this one for a while, but reading Marxy’s posts has proven especially cathartic these past couple of months or so. His writing on social trends in Japan lets me both vividly recall and better understand my prior experiences in Japan while making me want to get back there more and more each day. Not all posts are on Japan, especially since he turned the site into a “post-blog” (nevertheless still made up of blog posts), but the ones that make sense are usually interesting (the earlier posts are especially educational for the uninitiated).

Asia Logistics Wrap: A business blog by an honest to goodness expert in supply chains. As someone with an interest but only basic knowledge of the subject, my plan is to read through some of these posts and get whatever insight I can. He’s a Marmot reader – always a plus – and calls Thomas Barnett a “visionary” – a minus to some but meaningless to me.

The Bass Harp: Haven’t read much of this, but the concept alone deserves a mention. It’s dedicated to translations of Japanese-language public domain literature, obtained from the awesome online public domain library Aozora. Go there if you’re sick of bookies and transvestite exhibitionists!

An Eternal Thought in the mind of Godzilla: Read this blog in case you thought all so-called “American otaku” who are interested in Japan have nothing interesting to offer. The most fun part of this site has been the podcasts – my favorite is the one about the Japanese Fonzies known as The Cools.

Kaiju Shakedown: I’ve plugged (and contributed) to this site before, but this guy remains the best source of info for Asian movies that I have no intention of seeing.

So there you have it. If you’re lucky, I’ll eventually clue you into what podcasts I’m listening to and the best places to watch “Internet TV” on the web!

What to do with 10,000 yen?

A criminal who found his way to a new life through the love of a woman has returned the money he stole from a post office in March:

Repentant robber returns cash, with interest

TOKYO (Reuters) – A Japanese man who robbed a post office returned more money than he stole and turned himself in after deciding to come clean for the sake of his girlfriend.

The 33-year-old stole 340,000 yen ($2,300) at knifepoint from a post office in western Tokyo in March. Ridden with guilt, he went back to the post office at the end of May and left 350,000 yen in an envelope on the counter before running off.

The Mainichi newspaper quoted the man as saying he gave an extra 10,000 yen back because he was sorry for what he had done.

A Tokyo police department spokesman said they were still discussing what to do with the extra cash.

How much discussion does it take to decide what to do with 10,000 yen in cold hard cash? I have some suggestions:

  • Buy 1 air-conditioned T-shirt at the special online price of 9,500 yen. That would leave enough for a beef bowl, with 20 yen leftover to phone home and let your mom know how delicious it was.
  • Acquire 1 share in Fast Retailing, operator of bargain clothes chain Uniqlo. With Japan’s economic reform drive set to stall before it comes to true fruition, the prospects of the low-price retail market in Japan continue to look brighter and brighter! Again that would leave you with 500 yen left over, which you could use to celebrate your soon-to-be-newfound wealth with some ice cream at the Cold Stone Creamery located in the swanky Roppongi Hills office complex.
  • Save it at Tokyo Mitsubishi UFJ Bank. With interest rates at 0.001%, assuming that Japan’s prices are just about exactly flat at this point, in a year’s time you’d have 10,010 yen!
  • Get the luckiest guy in the precinct to play pachinko and double the money to buy a semi-legal prostitute. You can use the 80 minutes that can be purchased at 20,000 yen to convince Yuki to leave this sinful lifestyle a la He Got Game.

    • Anyone else have some suggestions for the Tokyo police?

    B-grade News from Nikkan Gendai: Man in Women’s Clothing Whips Out Penis in Train

    This type of thing (men in women’s clothing doing weird things) seems to keep happening all the time recently:

    B-grade News from Nikkan Gendai: Man in Women’s Clothing Whips Out Penis in Train
    56-year-old Amagasaki City Section Chief Arrested

    On June 5, the Yodoyagawa Precinct of the Osaka Prefectural Police arrested Hiroshi Ikeuchi (56), Section Chief of the Amagasaki City (Hyogo Pref) Health and Welfare Section on suspicion of red-handed public indecency for exposing his lower body in a train. The man has reportedly admitted to the crime, explaining, “It was a thoughtless act. I will properly make amends for the crime I have committed.”

    According to investigations, Ikeuchi boarded a Hankyu train, bound for Hibarigaoka Hanayashiki on the Takarazuka line, at Umeda station. Dressed as a woman, he sat on the bench and exposed his lower body to a female technical school student and others sitting across from him by spreading his legs and so forth.

    He ran from the train after the women approached him, but a male rider stopped him at Mikuni station and brought him to the nearby precinct.

    Ikeuchi lives with his wife and no children. He has testified that since approximately 13 years ago he cross-dressed by wearing wigs and miniskirts and “felt freedom by wearing women’s clothing.” He reportedly had consumed alcohol at an Osaka transvestite club and was on his way to an apartment he had rented in Toyonaka City in order to drop off his women’s clothes.

    According to the city of Amagasaki, Ikeuchi was hired in 1973, and started his current job in April after previously serving as section chief of the Industry and Labor and City Planning Sections. He was, they said, a man who proactively engaged issues.

    This is precisely the area where I stayed as a high school exchange student. Always amazing to see what sort of stuff is going on behind closed doors.