Japan’s Evolving Superlative Status

Despite Americans’ declining interest in Japan (case in point: American reporters’ questions at the “press availability” after Koizumi’s visit to the White House yesterday all focused on the recent Supreme Court decision on Guantanamo detainees), you can still count on your average educated Joe to recall at least something that Japan is supposedly best at. You can take your pick – smartest kids, best cars, smallest electronics, biggest animation industry – but ask any reasonably educated American about Japan and they will likely be able to remember at least one. But recent developments may make such thinking a little more complicated. Here’s a quick look at recent-ish developments behind some of Japan’s distinctions:

Oldest population: Japan now has the highest ratio of old people in the world, which combined with its now-declining population/workforce and record low birth rates spells possible doom for Japan’s economy. How is a population set to hit 100 million by 2050 going to produce more GDP than the current population of 126 million? According to a report from an association of reform-minded corporate executives known as the Keizai Doyukai, the only way to do it – assuming the reported projections in terms of immigration to Japan and a shrinking population, and that female and elderly labor will reach its potential levels by 2030 – is to bring back the level of productivity Japan enjoyed in the 80s by 2030, and maintain it for 20 years, all while bringing inward FDI levels to US levels (around 22%). And how can Japan do that? While the Doyukai gives a complicated solution, one popular simplified version that basically jives with the report’s suggestions comes from Koizumi-line economist Naoki Tanaka: Japan needs to put all its eggs in Information Technology and continue economic reform policies to minimize the massive waste in Japan’s economy. So even though right now Japan won’t be winning the “most likely to succeed” award, if Japan actually does what the Doyukai and others tell them, we’ll start seeing Japan pop up a lot more in world superlatives (Most efficient supply chains? Most profitable banks? Highest robot to person ratios?)

Top scores in international math tests: Not anymore. Japan slid to sixth in 2003 from first in 2000 in the math section of OECD’s “PISA” test of middle schoolers around the world. This is an especial blow to a country whose education system was once the envy of the world. The results led one education ministry official to comment at the time: ”Their learning skills rank high by international standards but they cannot be said to be the highest.” The 2006 PISAs are going on right now, but it’s unlikely that Japan will regain its glory. This is predicted (by the Keizai Doyukai once again) that a continued lag in Japan’s education system will limit prospects for economic growth.

Highest Longevity: Still the highest, says the WHO. As noted in the above superlative, this actually poses a problem for Japan’s society. Leave it to Japan to prove that you can be too healthy.

Most Expensive City: Tokyo loses out to… Moscow?! Due to the methodology of the survey (compare everything to New York), this is basically explained by the ruble’s exchange rate strengthening against a recently weak dollar (with a similar but smaller strengthening of the yen-dollar rate). Of course, this stat has always been kind of suspect – even the Economist knows that Japan isn’t that expensive of a country if you spend right (e.g.: if you’re not trying to maintain an executive-level American lifestyle).

Japanophiles’ Innermost Desires Exposed!

The Japan news forum Crisscross has a great new feature in which users list their “goals.” I really don’t see the appeal of this, but it’s a revealing window into the collective hopes and dreams of the Crisscross readership. Let’s take a look:

1. go to Japan (72)
2. Learn Japanese (61)
3. become fluent in Japanese (38)
4. marry a Japanese girl (34)
5. Learn Japanese perfectly (33)
6. get a new japanese girl friend (31)
7. meet new friends in Tokyo (31)
8. teach english in Japan (26)
9. live in Japan (25)
10. be friends with Japanese girls (21)
11. marry a nice sweet Japanese man and shower him with affection and devotion! (19)
12. Be happy (18)
13. learn about Japanese culture (16)
14. see Memoirs of a Geisha (16)
15. get a kitten (16)
16. eat sushi (16)
17. go to Osaka (15)
18. learn aikido (15)
19. completely master Kanji (14)
20. get somewhere with an asian girl before I die (14)

The aspirations of these Japanophiles (presumably so if they read Crisscross) range from the mundane (Read Harry Potter, wear a kimono, grow out my hair) to the horny (“get somewhere” with an Asian girl) to the ambitious (completely master kanji, dance on bin Laden’s grave, hug a friend in a monsoon). But the goals throughout the list definitely center around “go to/live in Japan,” “score with a Japanese girl,” and “master Japanese”.

To many, these goals might represent the masturbatory fantasies of anime nerds worthy of nothing but scorn. But not to me – they were, in fact, my top three priorities at age 17, in precisely that order. Seeing so many like-minded people really takes me back…

I started learning Japanese at 15, and as soon as I mastered hiragana I was completely hooked. Japan and its new and unknown culture, mysterious and forbidding language, and strange women who actually seemed somewhat interested in talking to me came to be an obsession.

Now, at 24, after two years in Japan, a nightmare relationship that all but turned me off from Japanese girls forever, and landing a job as a translator/researcher, I’ve accomplished all three of the above-mentioned “goals” and can look back and see them for the self-absorbed, adolescent, small-minded yearnings of a high school dork that they were. And I’ve changed – even though I’m still a proud nerd, my interests have broadened beyond just Japan stuff, I don’t feel the obsessive need to live in Japan or befriend Japanese people (though I’ll never let my Japanese language skills slip), and I am not worried about “getting somewhere” with women.

It’s been a fun ride, and I don’t regret for a minute the path I’ve taken as a result of my earlier immature ambition. Living in Japan and learning Japanese first and foremost opened my mind to “world things” (as Mrs. Adamu and I like to call them) and expanded my palate for delicious food my friends in the US can hardly bear to look at. But it also served as the stage on which I ended up wrestling with a lot of my high-school era demons – and the process I learned humility, became a little less selfish, and found out who my friends are.

As corny as it sounds, it allowed me to find out “who I am” and become more comfortable with myself, surely moreso than I could have if I just stayed home. And if I may be even more trite, sometimes to get to somewhere interesting in life, you’ve just got to follow your dumb teenage heart. It may well get you killed, but in most cases it’s far preferable to having stayed at home.

Is Japan Buying Pro-whaling Votes? Pretty much, but you already knew that

But of course:

Scale of Japan’s aid to pro-whaling nations revealed

In a written reply to a query on Japan’s “marine aid” to developing countries, the government acknowledged pouring 617 million yen ($8.7 million) last year into St Kitts & Nevis, the tiny Caribbean nation that hosted the IWC conference.

Nicaragua, the top recipient of Tokyo’s largesse, was awarded about $17 million, and the Pacific island cluster of Palau got $8.1 million.

All three countries voted with Japan, Iceland and Norway at last weekend’s conference in favour of the “St Kitts & Nevis Declaration”, calling for the 20-year ban on commercial whaling to be scrapped.

Keep in mind this pales in comparison to the billions (PDF) of dollars Japan spends on aid that’s largely unrelated to whaling and more concentrated on giving handouts to Japanese companies.

Of course, not all countries are so quick to offer themselves up for sale:

TUVALU: Tuvalu Opposes Tying Aid To Whale Vote

Monday: June 26, 2006

(Radio Australia)
Tuvalu says it would be a mistake if countries such as Australia and New Zealand start using their aid programs to persuade Pacific countries to support them in international forums.

Japan has been accused of using chequebook diplomacy to influence the Pacific on whaling after six island nations voted to support a Japanese resolution at the International Whaling Commission.

New Zealand’s opposition National Party spokesman on foreign affairs, Murray McCully, has suggested taking a more robust approach towards small island states.

But Tuvalu’s prime minister, Maatia Toafa says, “Well I don’t think that is fair because as far as Tuvalu is concerned, we are an aid-dependent country and we feel that we should be left to make our decisions without any influences.”

Well, Tuvalu, if one didn’t tie aid to something, what’s the guarantee that the money won’t be wasted on traditional canoes or 900-number network infrastructure with no concrete return for Japan? Something tells me you’re just holding out for a sweeter deal.

Things I wish happened: Masayoshi Son wrestles bears? Actually, no.

Look at this headline from May 4’s Mainichi online news:


Son scares off bear after elderly dad seriously injured in attack

At first, I thought this story was about Masayoshi Son, Japanese-Korean internet mogul and Japan’s richest man. But no, turns out it’s just some guy’s son who scared off the bear.

How cool would that have been if my first inclination had been true? He’d be a triple threat as the man who: a) Overcame his minority status to rise to the upper rank’s of Japan’s business elite; b) Helped introduce broadband Internet to Japanese households after years of lagging behind to the point where penetration has now outstripped the US; c) Can fend off any bears who threaten his elderly dad. Well, he got two out of three at least.

Rest of the story:

Son scares off bear after elderly dad seriously injured in attack

NIKAHO, Akita — An elderly man was seriously injured after being attacked by a bear while picking wild plants in the mountains here Thursday morning, police said.

At around 9:30 a.m. on Thursday, an adult bear attacked a 69-year-old pensioner who was picking edible wild plants with his son on a mountain in the Kisakata district of Nikaho, local police said. The man suffered serious wounds after the bear scratched his face and left arm.

The 37-year-old son fought back with a tree branch and managed to scare away the beast. The bear fled the scene and disappeared.

At the request of the local government, a local hunter was mobilized to search for the approximately 1.7-meter-long animal while police officers patrolled the neighborhood asking residents to exercise caution.

A residential area is located about 500 meters away from the scene of the attack. (Mainichi)

May 4, 2006

Required Movies for American Japan Watchers

The following is slightly modified from a response to an e-mail I received requesting recommendations for good “films on Japan” such as Lost in Translation of The Last Samurai.

The recent double threat of Lost in Translation and Last Samurai (but not the dud Memoirs of a Geisha), like some other popular Japan-themed films, were all good, entertaining movies, but I never felt like any of them gave me much insight on my experiences in Japan. As an alternative, I present my picks, in descending order of how highly I recommend them, that weren’t necessarily the best-made or most purely entertaining, but nonetheless got me thinking about the US-Japan relationship or the experiences I had while I was (ostensibly) studying there:

Fog of War (2003) – Essentially a long interview with Robert McNamara, Secretary of Defense under Presidents Kennedy and Johnson and WW2 vet who helped orchestrate the firebombing of Japan in 1945. The movie is great on so many other levels, but I recommend this to those studying Japan for the sections that talk about “proportionality in war” and the wholesale bombing of Japan. America destroyed a majority of most of Japan’s cities and capped it off with two atomic bombs. Consider this – the US visited upon Japan heretofore untold destruction and chaos. McNamara asks: was this proportional to US aims? Having watched this movie, it makes perfect sense to me why many Japanese seem to treat visiting Americans as if the GHQ were still around. The film serves as a good conversation starter and a challenge to the bland rationalizations that Americans learned in their US History classes in high school.

Seven Samurai (1954) – I am in no way a film buff (look at my other recommendations!), but this movie is one of the best action movies I’ve seen from any country. Seven guys, and they all get a chance to kick some ass. This film is all about being a man, so ladies should probably stay away- that is, if they can resist the mysterious allure of Toshiro Mifune.

Mr. Baseball (1992) – Tom Selleck plays an aging Yankee sent to play for Chunichi Dragons. Hates it, won’t listen to coach, but in the end learns to work within the system while teaching his stuffy coach a thing or two and, of course, sleeping with his daughter. All you male ALTs out there could only hope to be so lucky! Then again, none of you are Tom Selleck. For better or worse, this is considered to be a pretty well-done “American fish out of water in Japan” movie. Even though the plot is something of a gaijin fantasy, it’s a generally true-to-life portrayal of Japan that can at the very least serve as a heads-up to some of the more obvious culture shocks (squat toilets, low doors, weird guys screaming strange English at you).

Whispers of the Heart (1995) – This is a movie from Ghibli Studios (think Princess Mononoke) about a little girl who falls in love with a fiddle-playing wunderkind and finds mystical guidance from a magical German cat. Boring! Forget the story and take in the sights as she walks around a lovingly and painstakingly detailed animated depiction of suburban Japan. I’d recommend this more to returnees than newcomers, but this movie could come in especially handy during those inevitable “Japan-hating gaijin” periods. I mean, if the Miyazaki crew could find this much to love about Japan, then there’s got to be some good stuff left over for little old you, too. One thing that didn’t sit right with me about WOTH would have to be the “dealing with your own mediocrity” theme that is featured in this movie and common elsewhere in Japanese pop culture (See “Sekai ni Hitotsu Dake no Hana” by SMAP). Call me an idealist, but I’m not ready to give up that easily, and neither should young Shizuku!

BTW, this movie turned me into a John Denver fan, and if watching it doesn’t make you a convert, then you should at least understand why so many Japanese people like him.

MXC – Show on Spike TV that’s a (loose) dub of an older Japanese show featuring host Beat Takeshi as he presides over the painful experiences of contestants in a brutal obstacle course game show. I can imagine nothing more humiliating in life than being run over by an enormous, papier-mache boulder and then being fire hosed by a Power Rangers villain as punishment. This should serve as a great introduction to Japan’s culture of humiliation, pointless endurance, and unabashed gaudiness. Sadly, this type of stuff is no longer typical of Japanese TV (at least when I was there, lots of tame talk shows, eating shows, and dating shows – though it looks like pain TV seems to be making something of a comeback these days).

Gung Ho (1986) – Funniest scene in this movie is the corporate re-education camp in the beginning (ribbons of shame, anyone?). Michael Keaton plays a union leader in the Midwest who convinces a Japanese auto company to take over a shut down factory. The American workers, including George Wendt of “Cheers” fame, get uppity when the Japanese managers expect them to work with no sick time or human dignity, as Japanese supposedly do. Never mind that real managers at Japanese auto factories in the US never tried this in real life. The plot twists this way and that, but eventually the workers make a near-impossible promise to become as productive as any Japanese plant within a month – Can they do it? Yes, sort of. The message? If only American auto workers would give up their silly unions and work themselves to the bone, then the jobs would stay. The movie suffers from some annoying performances, one-dimensional characters, and bad writing in general, but it is still worth watching just to see how scary Japan was to the US back in 1986. We let go of those fears a bit too early, if GM’s fate is any indicator.

Bad News Bears Go to Japan (1978) – The always-annoying Bears go to Japan to play an exhibition game at the urging of a scheister TV producer, and literally everyone ends up getting ticked off in the process, especially the audience. Recoil in horror as a 13-year-old “bad boy” (signified by a peach-fuzz mustache IIRC) Bear creepily stalks and tries to force himself on an unsuspecting Japanese girl. It’s pure dreck, full of unapologetically racist and willfully ignorant sentiment, and almost unwatchable. Why do I recommend it, then? Because this is probably how your mom and dad see Japan. Redeeming quality: wrestling legend Antonio Inoki makes an appearance. Grunting, fuming Antonio Inoki, folks. His shtick hasn’t changed a bit in the almost 30 years since this movie was made.

Intelligent English-language Japan Blogs

Just thought I’d point our readers toward some stuff I’ve been digging lately:

Neomarxisme: I’ve been following this one for a while, but reading Marxy’s posts has proven especially cathartic these past couple of months or so. His writing on social trends in Japan lets me both vividly recall and better understand my prior experiences in Japan while making me want to get back there more and more each day. Not all posts are on Japan, especially since he turned the site into a “post-blog” (nevertheless still made up of blog posts), but the ones that make sense are usually interesting (the earlier posts are especially educational for the uninitiated).

Asia Logistics Wrap: A business blog by an honest to goodness expert in supply chains. As someone with an interest but only basic knowledge of the subject, my plan is to read through some of these posts and get whatever insight I can. He’s a Marmot reader – always a plus – and calls Thomas Barnett a “visionary” – a minus to some but meaningless to me.

The Bass Harp: Haven’t read much of this, but the concept alone deserves a mention. It’s dedicated to translations of Japanese-language public domain literature, obtained from the awesome online public domain library Aozora. Go there if you’re sick of bookies and transvestite exhibitionists!

An Eternal Thought in the mind of Godzilla: Read this blog in case you thought all so-called “American otaku” who are interested in Japan have nothing interesting to offer. The most fun part of this site has been the podcasts – my favorite is the one about the Japanese Fonzies known as The Cools.

Kaiju Shakedown: I’ve plugged (and contributed) to this site before, but this guy remains the best source of info for Asian movies that I have no intention of seeing.

So there you have it. If you’re lucky, I’ll eventually clue you into what podcasts I’m listening to and the best places to watch “Internet TV” on the web!

What to do with 10,000 yen?

A criminal who found his way to a new life through the love of a woman has returned the money he stole from a post office in March:

Repentant robber returns cash, with interest

TOKYO (Reuters) – A Japanese man who robbed a post office returned more money than he stole and turned himself in after deciding to come clean for the sake of his girlfriend.

The 33-year-old stole 340,000 yen ($2,300) at knifepoint from a post office in western Tokyo in March. Ridden with guilt, he went back to the post office at the end of May and left 350,000 yen in an envelope on the counter before running off.

The Mainichi newspaper quoted the man as saying he gave an extra 10,000 yen back because he was sorry for what he had done.

A Tokyo police department spokesman said they were still discussing what to do with the extra cash.

How much discussion does it take to decide what to do with 10,000 yen in cold hard cash? I have some suggestions:

  • Buy 1 air-conditioned T-shirt at the special online price of 9,500 yen. That would leave enough for a beef bowl, with 20 yen leftover to phone home and let your mom know how delicious it was.
  • Acquire 1 share in Fast Retailing, operator of bargain clothes chain Uniqlo. With Japan’s economic reform drive set to stall before it comes to true fruition, the prospects of the low-price retail market in Japan continue to look brighter and brighter! Again that would leave you with 500 yen left over, which you could use to celebrate your soon-to-be-newfound wealth with some ice cream at the Cold Stone Creamery located in the swanky Roppongi Hills office complex.
  • Save it at Tokyo Mitsubishi UFJ Bank. With interest rates at 0.001%, assuming that Japan’s prices are just about exactly flat at this point, in a year’s time you’d have 10,010 yen!
  • Get the luckiest guy in the precinct to play pachinko and double the money to buy a semi-legal prostitute. You can use the 80 minutes that can be purchased at 20,000 yen to convince Yuki to leave this sinful lifestyle a la He Got Game.
  • Anyone else have some suggestions for the Tokyo police?

    If having ninja swords is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right!

    Japan Times GO:

    Man held for having ninja swords

    KYOTO (Kyodo) A 30-year-old self-employed Kyoto man was arrested Monday on suspicion of possessing so-called black ninja swords in violation of the Firearm and Sword Control law, police said. The swords are popular with collectors…

    Suzuki has denied committing any wrongdoing, arguing that possession of the swords is not illegal because they are sold at major general merchandise stores, according to police…

    A black ninja sword is suspected of having been used in an attack on a 60-year-old owner of a camera shop in Iide, Yamagata Prefecture, on May 7. The owner, Nobuyoshi Ito, and his 27-year-old son, Satoru, were killed, while his wife, 54, sustained serious wounds.