Category: Curiosities

Foreigners Required to Register Once More at Japanese Lodgings

MF was telling me the other day that he read in an old tourism guide that foreign visitors used to have to register at hotels when they wanted to stay the night. But now that Japan has modernized that kind of suspicious behavior would be unthinkable right? Wrong:

Registration Procedure at lodging facilities in Japan
to be changed as of April 1, 2005

March 2005

Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare

As of April 1, 2005, foreign nationals who visit Japan will be required to do the following when they check in at lodging facilities such as hotels and inns in Japan for the purpose of effective prevention of infectious diseases and terrorism.

* To fill in their “Nationality” and “Passport Number” in addition to “Name”, “Address” and “Occupation”, which are already required, to the guest registration form.

* To present their passports to be photocopied (The proprietors of lodging facilities will be obligated to keep the photocopies).

Your understanding and cooperation will be appreciated.

Unbelievable. Where was this policy when SARS broke out? I saw on the news they were scrambling in the dark to find some Chinese guy who went to Universal Studios and might have spread the disease. And really I think Japan should be worried more about domestic terrorists than foreigners, despite some empty-sounding threats from al-Qaida. The government must be jittery about the influx of foreigners coming to see that half-baked exposition that no one is talking about.

There’s so much lip service paid to bringing more foreign tourists to Japan these days, but I can’t help but suspect trepidation on the part of some sectors of the government in accepting the new visitors.

Here are some helpful ideas on what to do if the hotel staff gives you a hard time.

Welcome to The World: What a shitty waste

Continuing our ongoing coverage of Rod Stewart’s every move, the singer has apparently purchased a private island shaped like the UK off the coast of Dubai, United Arab Emirates. Click the link to see a bunch of manmade islands positioned to look like a map of the world from an aerial view. The islands are being sold for resorts and mansions and whatever. In recent years, the Emirate of Dubai has been plunging headfirst into the upscale tourism industry, and they seem intent on both destroying the environment and showcasing a shocking lack of good taste in the process. (via BoingBoing)

The Tale of Nasubi

Those living in Japan may remember a segment on the popular TV program Dempa Shonen called “Kensho Seikatsu” (“Sweepstakes Life”) in which a poor comedian named Nasubi was trapped naked in a room and forced to to win sweepstakes if he hoped to survive.

Or, maybe you don’t remember. For you, here is a great retelling of the saga of Nasubi, complete with screen captures and funny moments. Here’s a taste:


Nasubi on his first day		 Nippon Television’s (NTV) producers have obviously never heard of the Geneva Convention. If they had, they wouldn’t have treated poor Nasubi the way they did. They wouldn’t have stripped him naked and shut him in an apartment, alone with no food, furniture, household goods, or entertainment. They wouldn’t have kept him there for over a year until he had won $10 000 in prizes by sending in postcards to contests. They wouldn’t have cut him off from the world and they would have told him that he was on nation-wide TV.

It all started one snowy day in January, 1998 with an audition. The audition consisted of choosing lots because the only talent needed for this challenge was luck. A group of aspiring comedians showed up, and among them was a young man whose stage name is Nasubi, which means eggplant. Nasubi was ‘lucky’ that day, and was chosen over other aspiring young comedians for a mysterious “show-business related job”. He was immediately blindfolded and driven to a tiny one room apartment somewhere in Tokyo.


Nasubi’s empty room		 When he arrived at the apartment, he was shown a stand full of magazines, a huge pile of postcards, and told to strip naked. The room was empty except for a cushion, a table, a small radio, a telephone, some notebooks, and a few pens. There was not a crumb of food, a square of toilet paper, or any form of entertainment. Whatever he needed, he was to win by sending thousands of postcards into contests. The producers left and Nasubi was on his own in his unique survival challenge. Imagine what was going through his mind: How am I going to eat? Why are they doing this to me? How long will it take to get out of here? He must have thought he was in a bad episode of The Prisoner.

Japan Goes to East Timor: The Original Soundtrack on MP3


In 2002, Japan’s Ground Self Defense Force (JGSDF, Motto: “There are some people I want to protect”) sent a brigade of engineers to East Timor to aid in the rebuilding after the chaos of the secession movement. Since this was the first time in a while for the SDF to do anything at all, the dispatch was kicked of with great fanfare.

As part of that effort, JGSDF Engineer Katayama Yoshio of the first wave of troops composed the following songs, which the Japanese government was nice enough to make available for download. Allow me to share:

“The Winds of East Timor” — They messed up the links on the site so that both the first and second songs link to the second song. But with my “elite skills” I magically changed the filename from “timor2.mp3” to “timor1.mp3” and PRESTO! all their base belonged to me. The sound? Picture a Muzak version of Southern Allstars crossed with the wussy background music to those public service announcements on Japanese TV.

“The Stars of East Timor” — Sounds like any given anime theme from the early 90s meets any given American sitcom theme from the 80s. Compare this with the ALF or Perfect Strangers theme if you dare.

“The Other Side of East Timor” — OK, now we’re getting intense. You thought East Timor was gonna be some walk in the park? Fuck you then. Every corporate instructional video or infomercial that I’ve ever scene probably had this for opening music.

“The Independence of East Timor” — Final Fantasy ending theme, Karate Kid ending theme, the music for the unveiling of a new car model, take your pick. Never before has Muzak sounded so triumphant. It’s as if to say: “May the East Timorese have a generic and cheesy future full of last-minute soccer goals and defeated bosses.”

“East Timor Jubilee” — Let’s party! Remember the parade song in Final Fantasy VII? This sounds JUST like that. Nobuo Uematsu may have a juicy lawsuit opportunity here. Listening to this makes me think the first thing East Timor did when they gained independence was have a nationwide conga line.

“The Dunes of East Timor” — OK, now we’re back to anime themes. Nothing more to say about the song, really, but I have to admire this guy’s use of a MIDI keyboard.

Don’t believe me? Listen for yourself!

In all honesty, these lame songs make a pretty apt soundtrack to Japan’s efforts in East Timor. They ignored the problem there for decades, instead opting to trade with the Indonesian government out of economic self-interest and (maybe) a belief in macro-economic assistance to raise living standards in other countries. The afterthought of an SDF dispatch is about as uninspired as these songs are, and about as sincere-looking as the guys holding hands at the top of the site.

Thanks to JGSDF, RPGamer, ClassicTVHits.com, and Barbneal for the songs!

Spam in Japanese part 2 いろんな迷惑メールその２

顔グロギャル
日本語の原稿をご覧いただくにはこちらをクリックしてください。

“Nice to meet you. I’m Yukari. You were looking for a sex friend, right? Mind if I apply? Umm, I have a boyfriend, but he’s not satisfying me, so please become my fuck buddy. It looks like we live close to each other, so first of all I’d like to confirm our sexual compatibility. Here’s a simple profile:
Sagara Yukari (My real name, but the kanji are secret for now lol, 24 years old, work as a telephone operator. My 3 sizes (bust, waist, hip?) are 92-61-88 (cm), and my breast are G-cup (about a D in American sizes). I’m kind of like an albino, so if you prefer tanned gyaru then you might not like me. Umm, I’m kind of a masochist when it comes to sexual habits… That’s why I’m a little unsatisfied when I have sex with my boyfriend. I’d like soft SM, like where you’d tease me by inserting from the back, or taking me on dates in a miniskirt with no panties, how about it?
Or are you looking for a normal sex friend who isn’t a masochist woman? Um, anyway I await your reply☆”

It’s written well enough so that someone with their guard down might actually respond. Click “Read the rest” to see the original Japanese.
Continue reading Spam in Japanese part 2 いろんな迷惑メールその２

The General Theory of Nostalgia

Nostalgia has been a recent theme of several sites I frequent.

First up is the puzzling surge in Soviet nostalgia among the former Socialist bloc. He and MF witnessed it firsthand in Kazakhstan. Why on earth would people wish for the days of Stalin, when, for example, millions of political dissidents were killed and fear reigned the day? Curzon posits that “many feel they have lost their national pride, and they want it back.”

Now, what is meant by nostalgia? Curzon talks of nostalgia on a national level: a combination of the older population feeling nostalgia individually for things Soviet, and the youth who yearn for what their grandparents told them of their nation’s history.

Then we have Dr. David Thorpe, reknowned music snob, feeling nostalgia about bad music from a few years ago that we think is good. He gives an insightful explanation as to why we look at songs like “November Rain” differently from when they were played 20 times a day on the radio:

Those of us who bear the burden of an unhealthy obsession with pop culture are often stereotyped as being unreasonably nostalgic. I’m not sure I buy that. Those of us with more discriminating tastes know that the pop music of the past isn’t really better than the pop music of today, but the appeal of shitty songs from the past is no less mesmerizing. Nostalgia isn’t the right word; I don’t yearn for the days when Whitney Houston battled Eric Clapton for the year’s biggest tearjerker. I don’t fondly remember turning on MTV and seeing the “Unbreak My Heart” video three times in a row. Regardless of this, cultivating an appreciation for pop music I once hated is a vital part of my education as a music snob. Sure, I may spend my days studiously furrowing my brow at high-minded avant-garde music that plebeians like you could never properly appreciate, but that doesn’t mean I won’t throw on a Color Me Badd record once in a while. Continue reading The General Theory of Nostalgia

Cola Otaku

Japundit has a post on a Japanese web site devoted entirely to McDonalds Happy Meal toys. Well, I’d like to meet them one fast-food related Otaku web collection and raise them one.

Sailor Moon RC cola
See ColaWP.com, aka ‘Cola Whitepaper,’ if not the absolutely the most complete possible web site devoted to all things Cola, certainly making a run for it. From an extremely thorough database of cola varieties, including reviews, to articles on such topics as ‘Cola Dualism,’ which compares the Coke/Pepsi divide with that of Mac/Windows (except of course Pepsi doesn’t have a 3% market share). And who could overlook their analysis of the Pepsi Challenge?

Although unlike the Happy Meal site, WPCola is actively updated, they do have an abandoned English language portion of the site. Although non Japanese readers may not be able to appreciate the full otaku majesty, they can get a pretty decent taste of it. And of course, even if you can’t read the reviews, anyone can appreciate the photos in the very extensive database section.

As a former Coca-Cola addict and still occasional user-erm, I mean drinker, I find this site strangely compelling. I imagine that in a couple of hours I’ll know more than I ever wanted to about all things Cola.

Resurrection Burial Tomb

Over the weekend I have a small project translating a patent application from Japanese to English. Quite naturally, I went to the USPTO online database to look up some patents and get a better idea of the appropriate terminology, when I stumbled across this patent. Being extremely long, incoherent and mad I’ll just quote the abstract and a sample from the beginning of the main text.

A Resurrection Burial Tomb includes a means to preserve and revive Human Beings and provide power and power systems for the same, comprising of a container of preservation means, holding the suspended dead person’s body and connected to electrical and energy apparatus systems contained in the Resurrection tomb and robotic machine workers that help maintain and work to revive the suspended Huamn Being; wherein the process provides power and security from death to living Human Beings being useful and novel, producing a less savage empowered child culture and machine parents.

I the Reverend Daniel Robert Izzo, hereby claim the, “A Resurrection Burial Tomb” that is a novel means to revive a dead person’s body from the grave; and providing a 1 little more security from an impending death; will preserve and prevent the human body from decay and will prolong the human life and tissue and return it into a conscious state, together with the means do do the same, and a means to produce energy, to do the same; comprising of: an artificial womb and a container with fluid having a crystal radio crown and antenna that connects to a radio and energy devices; wherein the deceased person is prevented from decay within said container and where energy is obtained from the radio crown that oscillates into the desceased person’s nerves and brain and the entire contianer is within a building and tomb that is weather tight, wherein a nuclear device is used to generate electric energy and heat energy; wherein part of the dead person’s bone is converted into a microprocessor and computer; wherein the computer and energy sources, drive a heart lung machine that keeps the dead person’s remaining cell tissue alive, together with an artificial heart assistor pump; wherein the deceased person’s bone will regain consciousness, using the material of their bone and artificial and organic means cosisting of human bone material; that is convertable into a computer and microprocessor, organically grown body parts; artificailly grown body parts; nerves a muscles

Yes, I cut it off in mid-sentence. Amazingly, this one sentence, constituting the first claim of the patent, is over 4000 words long.

Fuck Zapan! Korean Anti-Japanese Rap Song

DJ Doc
UPDATE: Now you can listen to “Fuck Zapan” in all its “glory” by downloading it from us here! Here‘s a link to just the lyrics.

UPDATE II: The song isn’t actually by DJ DOC, or so I’ve heard.

Hot on the heels of Korean-language classic “Fucking USA” comes “Fuck Japan” from the Korean rap group DJ Doc. This was #1 on the charts in South Korea circa 1999 (?) and was allegedly made in response to an anti-Korean song made by a Japanese rap group. Full of simpering calls of “Hai!” (Yes, sir! in Japanese) and depictions of foolish Japanese who don’t know their own history, this dubious masterpiece is punctuated in the middle by a sample from the PC game Starcraft (a personal favorite and a HUGE hit in Korea), proving that it is truly a product of the ROK. You can listen to it and get a Japanese translation of the lyrics here. Here are the lyrics in English:

I am Korean! (I am a Japanese!)
Hey, you, try saying “Al lo byu!” (I rob you!) *1
No! It’s “I low byoo!” (I rob you!)
Are you retarded? Can’t you even pronounce that? (Hai!)
Are you really retarded? (Hai!)
Isn’t your country just fundamentally retarded? (Hai!)
Hai! It’s your Korean boy! Fuck these pigfoot Japs! *2
Let’s kill them, boy! Fuck! These penis-face pussies motherfuckers!
Those fucking Japs that live in Japan penis-face pussy Jap bitch retard idiot bitches!
You who have been described as ‘barbarians to the East’ *3 pigfoot bitches!
Are you going to lie about your own history?! (Hai!) Go ahead and lie, you deceitful pigfeet!
Pussies! How much will you lie, pigfeet?! Keep on lying, Japs!
Lie to your mom and dad! Lie to your mom and dad!
Will you eat your mom? (Hai!) Is that OK? Yeah, that’s fine! That’s just fine!
Retard bitches! Go and have a seizure! Continue reading Fuck Zapan! Korean Anti-Japanese Rap Song