Resurrection Burial Tomb

Over the weekend I have a small project translating a patent application from Japanese to English. Quite naturally, I went to the USPTO online database to look up some patents and get a better idea of the appropriate terminology, when I stumbled across this patent. Being extremely long, incoherent and mad I’ll just quote the abstract and a sample from the beginning of the main text.

A Resurrection Burial Tomb includes a means to preserve and revive Human Beings and provide power and power systems for the same, comprising of a container of preservation means, holding the suspended dead person’s body and connected to electrical and energy apparatus systems contained in the Resurrection tomb and robotic machine workers that help maintain and work to revive the suspended Huamn Being; wherein the process provides power and security from death to living Human Beings being useful and novel, producing a less savage empowered child culture and machine parents.

I the Reverend Daniel Robert Izzo, hereby claim the, “A Resurrection Burial Tomb” that is a novel means to revive a dead person’s body from the grave; and providing a 1 little more security from an impending death; will preserve and prevent the human body from decay and will prolong the human life and tissue and return it into a conscious state, together with the means do do the same, and a means to produce energy, to do the same; comprising of: an artificial womb and a container with fluid having a crystal radio crown and antenna that connects to a radio and energy devices; wherein the deceased person is prevented from decay within said container and where energy is obtained from the radio crown that oscillates into the desceased person’s nerves and brain and the entire contianer is within a building and tomb that is weather tight, wherein a nuclear device is used to generate electric energy and heat energy; wherein part of the dead person’s bone is converted into a microprocessor and computer; wherein the computer and energy sources, drive a heart lung machine that keeps the dead person’s remaining cell tissue alive, together with an artificial heart assistor pump; wherein the deceased person’s bone will regain consciousness, using the material of their bone and artificial and organic means cosisting of human bone material; that is convertable into a computer and microprocessor, organically grown body parts; artificailly grown body parts; nerves a muscles

Yes, I cut it off in mid-sentence. Amazingly, this one sentence, constituting the first claim of the patent, is over 4000 words long.

3 thoughts on “Resurrection Burial Tomb”

  1. ——————————————————————————–
    United States Patent Application 20050027316
    Kind Code A1
    Izzo, Daniel Robert February 3, 2005
    ——————————————————————————–
    Resurrection burial tomb

    Abstract
    A Resurrection Burial Tomb includes a means to preserve and revive Human Beings and provide power and power systems for the same, comprising of a container of preservation means, holding the suspended dead person’s body and connected to electrical and energy apparatus systems contained in the Resurrection tomb and robotic machine workers that help maintain and work to revive the suspended Human Being; wherein the process provides power and security from death to living Human Beings being useful and novel, producing a less savage empowered child culture and machine parents.

    ——————————————————————————–
    Inventors: Izzo, Daniel Robert; (Syracuse, NY)
    Correspondence Name and Address: Reverend Daniel Robert Izzo
    512 Onondaga Ave
    Syracuse
    NY
    13207
    US

    Serial No.: 161974
    Series Code: 10
    Filed: June 4, 2002
    U.S. Current Class: 607/1
    U.S. Class at Publication: 607/001
    Intern’l Class: A61N 001/00

    ——————————————————————————–
    Claims
    ——————————————————————————–

    1) I the Reverend Daniel Robert Izzo, hereby claim the, “A Resurrection Burial Tomb” that is a novel means to revive a dead person’s body from the grave; and providing a 1 little more security from an impending death; will preserve and prevent the human body from decay and will prolong the human life and tissue and return it into a conscious state, together with the means do do the same, and a means to produce energy, to do the same; comprising of: an artificial womb and a container with fluid having a crystal radio crown and antenna that connects to a radio and energy devices; wherein the deceased person is prevented from decay within said container and where energy is obtained from the radio crown that oscillates into the deceased person’s nerves and brain and the entire container is within a building and tomb that is weather tight, wherein a nuclear device is used to generate electric energy and heat energy; wherein part of the dead person’s bone is converted into a microprocessor and computer; wherein the computer and energy sources, drive a heart lung machine that keeps the dead person’s remaining cell tissue alive, together with an artificial heart assister pump; wherein the deceased person’s bone will regain consciousness, using the material of their bone and artificial and organic means consisting of human bone material; that is convertible into a computer and microprocessor, organically grown body parts; artificially grown body parts; nerves a muscles; wherein the microprocessor will oscillate of the dead person, from the said bone material; being used will oscillated of the person’s life frequency; together with artificially grown nerves and olfactory nerves that grow, reconstructed nerve patterns of the deceased person; together and consisting of artificial and organically grown muscle; comprising of silicon and compounds to cause silicon and material mean to expand and contract with energy and force; and organic material; when a voltage of energy is applied; wherein the deceased person’s skeleton remains, will be revived to consciousness, using collagen, a microprocessor, co version to a computer consciousness, artificial muscle that expands and contracts with energy and force, artificial nerves that will allow the dead person’s skeleton remains; to independently communicate new consciousness and thoughts; wherein the said microprocessor contains elements of human bone materials that will be able to convert itself into other electric circuit patterns, by inputing the desired pattern stored in its memory; such as imputing radio, for radio circuit, imputing oscilloscope for oscilloscope circuit; wherein said microprocessor will receive and transmit input data and electric pulses, and will contain information, record data and monitor the burial tomb, comprising of a means to receive and transmit data and electric pulses; and contain information, record data and monitor, wherein said microprocessor comprises of: a sheet of flexible insulating plastic paper that contains an enlargement of specially painted and printed computer microchips; integrated electric circuits and having thousands of field effect transistors; capacitors and resistors; that was applied and formed with applied layers of paint, wherein the sheet of plastic paper is coated with a complete layer of positively doped silicon substrate that is printed and painted in an electric circuit pattern of an insulating coat of silicon dioxide paint; then an area contain the devices negatively charged electric areas, type-N, will be painted and printed; in a pattern for type-N areas, with a paint that contains silicon and germanium crystals and phosphorus with in the type-N semiconductor paint; wherein then the device’s negatively charged electric areas will have extra free electrons and produces N-type, negatively charged electric current conduction; wherein then, another electric circuit pattern is then printed and painted that will conduct the P-type, positively charged electric semiconductor regions with a polysilicon paint that contains silicon, germanium, crystals and boron mixed in the paint; wherein the results of the paint leave gaps in the germanium crystal structure because there is not enough electrons to fill all of the spaces in the crystal and produces a P-type semiconductor patterned region for the device’s positive electric current conduction; wherein then another layer of silicon dioxide is printed and painted in an electric circuit insulating pattern and shall have some holes for electric conduction and shall have a printed and painted aluminum or other electric conducting metal paint; applied on it in a circuit pattern and shall provide electric contacts that will receive electric data pulses of either digital inputs or analog-to-digital converter inputs and the electric contacts will provide the device’s digital ou

  2. Hi, I am the inventor of the above decribed device

    if you didn’t read it, a device in the patent application turns @10 watts onto @100 watts output power, the Thermionic Electron Electric Generator

    and concerning our security from death issues, unless you believe in funny magic tricks, how else will someone be revived from death ?

    lots of plants and animals a frozen and thaw every winter and spring and it is certainly possible to revive the deceased from frozen suspenion.

    if you cared for your relatives and family then you would want them to be broght back one day, and a medical resurrection is better to work for than doing nothing.

    when people die, not all of the body is dead, mainly just the brain stem stops function

    i hope you think about natural cryonic perservation, in a ice glacier or the arctic for asians

    God Bless You

    Cryonic Life Insurance Company
    Dept of Generla Resurrection
    Br Dan Izzo
    Syracuse, NY

  3. This is insane. It is completely and utterly ridiculous. You cannot bring people back from the dead. It is scientifically impossible, and your grammar is terrible which makes you even less credible. Learn some biology!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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