Author: Adamu

The Strange Case of Abiru Yuu あびる優の窃盗事件(キャプ＋英語解説）

UPDATE：映像だ！映像きたー！Watch the video here!
テレビキャプチャー画像はこちら
She'd steal your heart without you even knowing it.
Blowing up the headlines at 2ch news is the case of Abiru Yuu (18), the Japanese idol who admitted to robbing a supermarket, leading to the store’s eventual bankruptcy. The admission came on a Feb. 15 broadcast of Nippon TV’s “Coming Doubt” where secrets are revealed about certain stars and other celebrities have to guess whether the allegations are true. You can see a screen capture (with convenient subtitles) here. Here is a translation of the captions:

(A still of Abiru smiling) Abiru Yuu once participated in a group theft that bankrupted a store.
Upper right caption: True or false? Abiru Yuu once participated in a group theft that bankrupted a store.
ABIRU: Well, it was a while ago… we took out whole boxes.. it went on for about 6 months…
SOMEONE ELSE: A BAND OF THIEVES?!
ABIRU: Oh, I guess (the shop) did close down… I can’t say for sure whether the place closed as a result of what we did…
(Still of Abiru) Is Abiru’s confession TRUE or FALSE???
(Abiru hangs head in shame and holds up a placard saying “True”)

What’s so offensive, apparently, is that she didn’t seem at all remorseful, laughing and joking about it the whole time. She has made a name for herself as a character who offends people, so she perhaps thought this was just a part of the act. (More background [Japanese] can be found here)
イメージ映像
Continue reading The Strange Case of Abiru Yuu あびる優の窃盗事件(キャプ＋英語解説）

French lessons: French must sell arms to the Chinese now.. or else

Our good friend Saru the White Wizard recently had this to say about reports of French Defense Minister Michele Alliot-Marie defending arms sales to China:

No time to write this up as a blog, so if any of you want to pick it
up, have at it.

I don’t think any of you know this, but I can speak a little bit of French. Or at least, I can understand a little bit of it. For example, I read in the FT this morning that the French Minister of Defense, one Michele Alliot-Marie (Condi, she ain’t) told an FT reporter:

“The lifting of the [EU arms] embargo could be a better protection forus than maintaining it… China is rapidly developing its industry, and today our experts say that in five years China could make exactly the same arms that we have today. And they will do it if they cannot
imports. So maybe if we can sell them arms, they will not make them. And in five years’ time, they will not have the technology to make them.”

English translation: “If we don’t hurry and sell the Chinese arms, think of all the business we’ll lose out on!”

Is this woman fucking serious? First of all, in what way does China threaten France such that it needs “better protection.” And who the hell is this “us” to whom she refers?

And isn’t her logic flawless? “If we sell them arms, they won’t make them. And, the won’t have the technology to make them” Great idea! Only one small problem – the technology won’t matter because they’ll already have the arms!

Maybe if the French had just given Sadam chemical, biological, or nuclear arms years ago, he wouldn’t have tried to make them, and then this whole nasty war could have been avoided.

Anyone who thought that absurdism died with Ionesco (and yes, I know he was Romanian, but the French at him up) has a lot to be excited about with someone like this making public statements.

I mean hey, don’t they say, “give a man a gun, he kills for a day, teach a man to make guns, he kills for a lifetime?” Makes perfect sense if you think in terms of axioms.
Continue reading French lessons: French must sell arms to the Chinese now.. or else

No beer and no gyudon make ossan go crazy!

Last year, after Yoshinoya ran out of its famous gyudon (see here for background), there were multiple cases of ossan (middle-aged men) getting violent and demanding their beef bowls. It seemed as though these men couldn’t understand just what was going on and were hurt by the change.

Well, last week those wounds were ripped open as Yoshinoya resurrected its long-absent gyudon — for one day only in commemoration of the first anniversary of the ban (一年ぶりに、一日だけ）. I don’t know where they got the beef, but it was a momentous day that brought people out of the woodwork to get their hands on that sweet beefy goodness. And right on cue, some people got way too excited about it and did stupid shit like this:
Car crash
The headline: Car crashes into Yoshinoya on “gyudon resurrection day”

The arrows point to people “still eating” despite the fact that they were almost killed by a runaway car. That’s dedication, folks.
Continue reading No beer and no gyudon make ossan go crazy!

Spam in Japanese part 2 いろんな迷惑メールその２

顔グロギャル
日本語の原稿をご覧いただくにはこちらをクリックしてください。

“Nice to meet you. I’m Yukari. You were looking for a sex friend, right? Mind if I apply? Umm, I have a boyfriend, but he’s not satisfying me, so please become my fuck buddy. It looks like we live close to each other, so first of all I’d like to confirm our sexual compatibility. Here’s a simple profile:
Sagara Yukari (My real name, but the kanji are secret for now lol, 24 years old, work as a telephone operator. My 3 sizes (bust, waist, hip?) are 92-61-88 (cm), and my breast are G-cup (about a D in American sizes). I’m kind of like an albino, so if you prefer tanned gyaru then you might not like me. Umm, I’m kind of a masochist when it comes to sexual habits… That’s why I’m a little unsatisfied when I have sex with my boyfriend. I’d like soft SM, like where you’d tease me by inserting from the back, or taking me on dates in a miniskirt with no panties, how about it?
Or are you looking for a normal sex friend who isn’t a masochist woman? Um, anyway I await your reply☆”

It’s written well enough so that someone with their guard down might actually respond. Click “Read the rest” to see the original Japanese.
Continue reading Spam in Japanese part 2 いろんな迷惑メールその２

The General Theory of Nostalgia

Nostalgia has been a recent theme of several sites I frequent.

First up is the puzzling surge in Soviet nostalgia among the former Socialist bloc. He and MF witnessed it firsthand in Kazakhstan. Why on earth would people wish for the days of Stalin, when, for example, millions of political dissidents were killed and fear reigned the day? Curzon posits that “many feel they have lost their national pride, and they want it back.”

Now, what is meant by nostalgia? Curzon talks of nostalgia on a national level: a combination of the older population feeling nostalgia individually for things Soviet, and the youth who yearn for what their grandparents told them of their nation’s history.

Then we have Dr. David Thorpe, reknowned music snob, feeling nostalgia about bad music from a few years ago that we think is good. He gives an insightful explanation as to why we look at songs like “November Rain” differently from when they were played 20 times a day on the radio:

Those of us who bear the burden of an unhealthy obsession with pop culture are often stereotyped as being unreasonably nostalgic. I’m not sure I buy that. Those of us with more discriminating tastes know that the pop music of the past isn’t really better than the pop music of today, but the appeal of shitty songs from the past is no less mesmerizing. Nostalgia isn’t the right word; I don’t yearn for the days when Whitney Houston battled Eric Clapton for the year’s biggest tearjerker. I don’t fondly remember turning on MTV and seeing the “Unbreak My Heart” video three times in a row. Regardless of this, cultivating an appreciation for pop music I once hated is a vital part of my education as a music snob. Sure, I may spend my days studiously furrowing my brow at high-minded avant-garde music that plebeians like you could never properly appreciate, but that doesn’t mean I won’t throw on a Color Me Badd record once in a while. Continue reading The General Theory of Nostalgia

Feel the burn-out

Just spent the whole night translating a project I shouldn’t have taken. It was a hard assignment (lab notes on drugs to treat vaginal cancer) and I really didn’t have the time this weekend. The other translators on the project were great, but I couldn’t really pull my weight because I took the job amid personal shit that I needed to attend to.

They say there’s no satisfaction like a hard day’s work, but I just feel burnt out at this point. Note to self: think about what your schedule is actually like for the next couple days before you accept a big job.

Anyway, this blog has been pretty quiet for a few days. Both the MF and I have been busy. I haven’t even been following the news!

When he gets back and things calm down for me expect more. I have fascinating questions to pose the gaijin community and something about a trip I took.

Random Picture:
レンジャー
“レンジャー” Ranger (as in Power Ranger) in Japanese.

Dangerous Revolving Doors

DANGER!
In the course of one of my jobs, I encounter many newfangled electronic revolving doors like the one above. The idea is that you can have all the elegance of revolving doors without the hassle of actually pushing them (a convenience as useful as Mustardayonnaise if you ask me). That would be great if they weren’t DEADLY. Check this out from The Economist:

Many to blame

Six executives are facing charges of criminal negligence after a six-year-old boy was crushed to death last March in a revolving door at Roppongi Hills, one of the city’s glittering new skyscraper complexes. Police are charging three executives from the Mori Building Company, which runs the Roppongi Hills complex, and three from Sanwa Tajima, which made the door.

The police decided to go forward in January after finding out that six other accidents had occurred at the same place. They allege that Mori executives did not act on all of the safety recommendations their companies devised. One of the accidents was nearly identical to last year’s fatality: a six-year-old girl had her head caught in the door, but was freed with minor injuries. Hisanobu Kubo, who worked for Sanwa Tajima, allegedly failed to report a blind spot in the censors that stopped the door, fearing unattractive safety measures and slow sales. The case seems to have spurred many to act: one survey found that 30% of building managers have removed or plan to remove their revolving doors, and 30% more have stopped using them.

About half of the major hotels in DC use these death-traps, and I almost get caught every time I pass through the things. Stop the killing now!

Xerox Chairman Threatened After Criticizing Yasukuni Visits

From The Economist:

Shrine controversy

Yotaro Kobayashi, the high-flying Chairman of Fuji Xerox, got some threatening packages after he criticised Japan’s prime minister, Junichiro Koizumi, for visiting a shrine honouring the Japanese war dead. A package sent to Mr Kobayashi contained a bullet, and Molotov cocktails (which failed to fully ignite) were found outside his home. Yasukuni, the controversial shrine that Mr Koizumi visited, was once a famous backdrop for war propaganda and emperor-worship. The dead commemorated there include convicted war criminals from the second world war.

The prime minister’s visits to Yasukuni have earned him criticism from a number of Japan’s neighbours, which are still bitter about the country’s long history of waging war on them. China in particular has said the visits show a lack of remorse from Japan, and has called for them to stop. Mr Kobayashi has been a target of right-wing groups since late last year, after he said the visits were fraying relations between Japan and China, which have been fragile lately.

Japan beats NK 2-1 in Extra time!

GOAL!
日本代表GJ!
こないだは韓国に敗れて惜しい気持ちを力にして北朝鮮に発揮できたんだね。見たかった！！！おめでとう。６月も犯罪国家北朝鮮でがんばれ！
One more historical event that I missed out on. Damn I wanted to see that!

I don’t see any video of it online yet, but apparently it was a really close game (detailed results can be found here in Japanese). North Korea was much better than expected. The DPRK’s defense was strong, as Coach Zico and others said, and, while Japan dominated possession, they made some crucial mistakes in defense that they had to make up for in the end.

From Japan Today:
WOO!

SAITAMA — Masashi Oguro scored a last-gasp winner as Japan made a nervy start to the final phase of qualifiers for the 2006 World Cup on Wednesday by squeaking past North Korea 2-1 in their opening Group B match in Saitama.

Mitsuo Ogasawara put Japan in front with a free kick after four minutes but substitute Nam Song Chol scored a goal that will give Japan goalkeeper Yoshikatsu Kawaguchi nightmares for weeks to come just after the hour mark to deservedly pull the North Koreans level.

The game was played amid political tensions between the two countries with public pressure mounting for the Japanese government to slap economic sanctions on the reclusive state in a bid to force it to come clean on its abductions of Japanese citizens in the 1970s and 1980s.

As a precaution against possible crowd trouble, more than 3,000 police and private security guards were mobilized but the match passed without incident.

Continue reading Japan beats NK 2-1 in Extra time!

The Coming Battle with North Korea

The Japanese team Prepares for the big showdown.
Tomorrow night Japan will finally face down North Korea… on the soccer field. On Feb. 9th in Saitama (at the illustrious Saitama Stadium). The teams finished their last practices today (the DPRK team only allowed reporters to view 15 minutes of theirs as opposed to the Japanese team letting people in on the whole thing), and they both have expressed confidence that they will trounce the other team.

Sporting events in Asia have historically had a significant effect on postwar politics in the region. The 1964 Olympics in Tokyo and the 1988 Olympics in Seoul were seen as coming-out parties for both countries. And the 2008 Games to be held in Beijing are set to do the same.

Besides such positive effects as international recognition, sporting events can fuel tensions between coutnries as well, as was seen in the booing and roughhousing of Japanese spectators at the 2004 Asia Cup in Beijing.

Emotions in Japan are running high, with people fuming over a number of issues, from the kidnapping of Japanese nationals to the nuclear threat. This game is sure to be historic, as beating the North Korean team will be cathartic for the citizenry, and losing would infuriate many.
Continue reading The Coming Battle with North Korea