Panty Thief Forgets Bag, Gets Self Arrested because of Dog that “Wasn’t there before”
The Fukuoka Pref. police, Kasuya Precinct arrested a part-time factory worker of Koga City on suspicion of theft for stealing a woman’s underwear. They confiscated 220 pairs of women’s underwear that were scattered about his apartment.
According to the Fukuoka police’s investigations, the man is suspected of entering the female company employee (25)’s apartment through the unlocked front door, upon which he stole one pair of underwear.
The man ran off in a hurry after being barked at by the woman’s pet canine. The woman, who was in the bath at the time, dialed 110 (Japan’s 911) after she noticed the trouble. It became clear that the crime was the suspect’s doing after receipts for public utilities were found in a bag left at the scene.
According to police, the suspect had infiltrated the woman’s home a few times before since she was the man’s type. He was surprised at the presence of the dog, which had not been there before.
Thanks again ZAKZAK for making me feel better about myself.
Just when you thought Japan was getting better (Daily Sports via 2ch News):
Makiko Fujino （５６）, a first-term member of Japan’s lower house of the Diet (Liberal Democratic Party), attended a “Winter Sonata Gallery” at the Takashimaya dept. store in Osaka’s Naniwa-ku on Sept 24 with her husband, upper house member Kimitaka Fujino (57). “My daughter was a fan at first,” Makiko explained as she observed photo panels and costumes from the popular Korean dramatic TV series, “but I eventually fell in love with it as well!” Since she is known as a culinary researcher, she says she’d like to “get Yon-sama with kimchee.” Makiko looked satisfied after purchasing a wristwatch bearing Bae Yon Jun’s likeness along with a soundtrack CD.
Forgive me, but I don’t see what’s attractive about a pasty-faced, femmie birdman! That goes double for her husband…
I’m starting to think that Koizumi’s “shake up the LDP by guaranteeing Diet seats for random women by putting them first in the proportional representation blocks” strategy may have screwed Japan over in ways that are only starting to manifest themselves now. If they aren’t careful, Diet members with bad taste like Fujino might succeed in giving Yon-sama his own holiday!
For once, 2ch says it better than I could: Get Yon-sama with Kimchee?! I’d like to stuff kimchee in that impudent mouth of hers!
BTW, in case you were wondering Yon-sama looks something like this:
When I was an exchange student in 1999, I spent a lot of time hanging out with the other exchange students in Osaka. Led by a wily and hep raver pimp who shall remain nameless, we galavanted about town, club-hopping, flirting, complaining about our high schools, practicing Japanese with our entourage of official groupies, and drinking a lot. Given its convenient location, the Osaka/Umeda station was our hangout of choice. In particular, we spent lots of time waiting for each other in front of Big Man, a giant TV in front of Umeda station, pictured here:
For the year we spent on the exchange , Umeda station was something of a playground, or more of a launching pad for our numerous antics and mayhem. Safe from the watchful eyes of our parents and tossed into a society too polite to tell us no, we exchangers (who mostly hailed from Europe, Canada, and the US but included souls from such exotic places as Brazil and Australia as well) scammed the trains big time (more on that later), took advantage of Japan’s strange legal loopholes, sat around for hours nursing one cup of Mr. Donuts coffee, went on violent drunken rampages, hooked up with each other, hooked up with kids from the schools, hooked up with host sisters, got people pregnant (or “took it to the house” as one of my Swedish friends put it) and that’s just scratching the surface. I didn’t perpetrate all of the above myself, mind you, but I just want to emphasize that Umeda station was the launch site for all this madness. (Go to this Flickr site or this awesome site for more of an idea of what I’m talking about).
That is why I am saddened to hear that, according to the latest eyewitness reports, the beautiful Hankyu Umeda station in Osaka is being torn apart as part of area renovation plans. Hankyu is planning a full-scale revitalization of its flagship store in Umeda, and in the process developers have scaffolded off the entire station. This story tells of people saying their last goodbyes to the Old Umeda Concourse:
Anticipating the loss of the station they knew so well, Osakans capture the final moments of the Umeda Concourse in Kita-ku.
Saying Goodbye to Old Hankyu Umeda Station Concourse Walls
Sept. 13, Asahi Shimbun
Starting Sept. 14, the old Hankyu Railways Umeda Station Concourse will see a construction fence go up around it as part of the renovation project of Hankyu’s Umeda flagship department store. That means that the mosaic murals that line the tall walls and ceilings of the station will no longer be visible. Those who came to say goodbye brought their cameras to “capture the elegant form” of the station.
The fence will go up directly over the 6-meter wide walking path. The ceiling will be removed within the fiscal year, but Hankyu Railways is considering saving the murals and chandeliers.
I had originally thought that this was talking about this gigantic hallway:
To get to any subway station from Hankyu trains you have to pass through this area, one of the few expansive, open areas that I encountered in the “beautiful urban jungle” of Osaka. I think the Old Concouse actually refers to an old area of the station located away from any trains or foot traffic. It has cool little murals like this:
But to tell you the truth I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER!! This makes me even sadder than hearing it’s getting redone!
More than anything, thinking back on all this reminds me that I can never go back to my salad days as an exchange student.
As my own way of saying goodbye, Here are some random pictures of Umeda station that I culled from Google Image search: Continue reading Osaka Nostalgia Part 1
Yukan Fuji (also known as ZAKZAK online) via Yahoo! Japan (rough translation, not always direct):
Matsui Struggles with English, Wonders if there’s a “good way to learn out there”
CHICAGO (Yoshihiro Kuboki): In the second game of the season pitting Yankees left fielder Hideki Matsui and White Sox infielder Tadahiro Iguchi against each other, Matsui, fifth in the order, hit a grounder to 2nd and Iguchi, second in the order, hit a grounder to the shortstop.
Meanwhile, Hide Nakata, who recently switched teams to Britain’s Bolton, surprised local media outlests by speaking fluent English without relying on an interpreter at his welcome press conference [Tr: He also forced Japanese reporters to ask him questions in English. Poor guys!]. So, how is Hide Matsui holding up with his English?
Matsui always answers questions at locker room press conferences through his interpreter, Rogerio Carron (sp?). However, a local reporter praised his English, saying, “Sometimes we talk candidly when the interpreter isn’t around, but I didn’t notice him having any trouble. He understands enough of what I’m saying.”
On the bench, it is not uncommon to see Matsui joking and laughing with friends such as team leader Derek Jeter. Though in his first year “Godzilla” couldn’t understand a word of what manager Joe Torre was saying at meetings, now he can even understand Torre’s jokes. Later, when asked whether he gave any consoling remarks to Yankees pitcher Scott Proctor after he walked in a run at the recent Yankees-Devilrays game, Matsui replied, “There’s no way I could have talked to him. I don’t speak English!”
One might recall that Matsui doesn’t really like to be asked about his English ability, like the time when he returned to his hometown and avoided the urgings of the host of a gathering of villagers to let them hear him speak English.
However, Matsui, in his 3rd season in Major League Baseball, is putting a lot of effort into his English studies. He doesn’t say much about it, claiming, “I don’t do anything special. I wonder if there is a good way to learn out there,” according to a source close to Matsui, he has a few English converation books close at hand in his home, and he looks them over when he can find some free time. He is also being proactive in using his English, trying such everyday (for a pro baseball player) tasks as ordering room service.
It is said that the reason Matsui is studying English so diligently is because he wants to speak more with Derek Jeter. Matsui respects Jeter because they both came up through hard work, not by sheer talent. Matsui is able to get excited about studying because he has a clear motivation. The day may come soon when Matsui speaks English at a press conference that outdoes Nakata’s.
2) Link to DPJ Candidate’s Website Goes to Porn Site Instead — Remember last year’s vice presidential debate? NO?! Well in it Cheney kept repeating some site name, and I thought it would be totally within the realm of possibility for the link he gave out to automatically forward you to goatse.cx.. You know, since he’s so evil and all. Well anyway, Hiroko Mizushima, an opposition party member running for office in Japan’s upcoming election, came close to fulfilling my fantasies. A link to her site posted on the Osaka Prefectural Chapter of the Democratic Party of Japan’s website mistakenly pointed instead to German site “Porn Diamonds” (LINK NOT SAFE FOR WORK). According to Mizushima’s staff, she had changed her site’s address after her provider went out of business, but the Prefectural Chapter just never updated it. Oops!
3) U.S. Targets Sex Abuse of Exchange Students— Think of it as a little like that scene in American Pie, only instead of an American supermodel faking an accent and stripping in front of a camera it’s a pathetic biology teacher (pictured above) sneaking into a girl’s bedroom and begging for head. Or it’s a fat Asian man feeding booze to Scandinavian boys and then trying to grab their ding-ding-dongs.
I wasn’t molested when I spent my senior year of high school in Japan, but I easily could have been, as the article explains:
Foreign students are among the most vulnerable minors because they usually do not know U.S. laws, are unfamiliar with customs, are dependent on host families or sponsors, don’t know what to do when abused or are afraid to act, according to Lt. Frank Baker of the Allegan County Sheriff’s Office…
“For a predator, this is the ideal situation,” Baker said.
Masturbating for 15 Minutes on the Train “Not Public Indecency” Says Man Arrested for Said Crime
Nobody likes a woman who thoughtlessly applies makeup on the train, but this case of a man, driven mad with desire for a woman, furiously masturbating for 15 minutes on the train home was a matter for police. This idiotic man, while admitting his unlawful act, claimed he wasn’t bothering anyone — he is said to be giving the absurd excuse that “it’s not public indecency.” He was working for a big company, had a wife, even bought his own condominium… This man, who was fulfilling the Japanese dream, threw it all away in a mere 15 minutes.
“I saw a girl that was my type, so I just went and did it,” said the 31-year-old employee of Dai-Nippon Printing Co. from Sakura District, Saitama City.
According to the investigations of Saitama Prefectural Police, Tokorozawa Precinct, the man got on the Musashi-Urawa Station on the Musashino Line after midnight on August 2 and sat down next to a woman in her 20s, whereupon he exposed himself and began spanking his monkey. He continued to pleasure himself even after he missed his stop at Nishi-Urawa, not stopping until 15 minutes later when he reached the end of the line, Higashi-Tokorozawa.
Since the few people in the train didn’t seem to notice, the housewife who endured this display of perversion finally barked, “What do you think you’re doing?” when her station drew near.
A male corporate worker (33) sitting nearby made himself useful and held the man down, but thankfully, according to the man, “he didn’t ejaculate.” You might think this was the act of a drunken man acting out in the night, but source say he was “totally sober.”
After graduating from a Hokkaido university, the suspect entered the nation’s largest domestic printing company, Dai-Nippon. He married a classmate from college and only recently moved into a condominium he had purchased near the station [ed: Living near the station is a big perk in Japan].
A neighbor living in his building described him as “small and not terribly handsome, but he was a diligent person who would say hello to you in the morning.
“The room he bought cost 20-30 million yen [about $200-300k] and was the biggest 4-bedroom condo in the building.” The neighbor couldn’t hide her surprise over the incident, saying that he thought they planned to have a big family.
Another neighbor spoke to us about the couple’s relationship.
“The wife worked for a charity, so she didn’t pay much attention to fashion, but she is the type of person who normally has a smile on her face. 5 or 6 of her friends from college would often come to visit, and the two of them would often go out together as a couple. I think they got along well.”
“The couple was married in June at a church in Australia, which reminded them of Hokkaido where they met. The pictures of expansive ocean and white beaches were most memorable for me,” says the neighbor.
When we arrived at the man’s home on the night of the 2nd, his wife would only say, “Nothing happened. Leave us alone, please.” I wonder what evil spirit now haunts what was once a life of smooth sailing.
In an unbelievable development, the man at first told investigators with a straight face, “(The masturbation) was just for my own pleasure, so it’s not public indecency.”
This is a man who, instead of just talking to a woman who’s his type, instead decides to sit next to her and jack off for 15 minutes. It was only a matter of time before he was caught with his pants down.
Nikkei offers some very specific tips from the pros on how to find a seat on Japan’s crowded commuter trains:
Before you get on the train:
Line up at worst 4th from the front (in cars with seven-person benches and 3 doors): The 5th in line may not be able to sit. In that case, wait for the next train!
Line up near the smoking area of the station: There are many who get on late because they are distracted by smoking. Few people will put out their cigarettes just to line up.
Line up behind the door second closest to the stairs: There are usually a lot of people getting off at the door nearest the stairs, so you may be held up getting on the train.
Line up near areas where stairs or offices make the waiting area smaller: It’s hard to line up there so there will be fewer people lined up.
Line up at the very end of the platform: There are simply fewer people there.
Do not line up behind couples: They move together, so if a couple is in front of you you can’t move quickly to grab a seat.
Once you are on the train:
Stand in front of the person who moves to sit on the end seat: The end seat on a bench is the most popular since you don’t have to deal with people sitting next to you on both sides. Once that seat opens, people who were sitting in other seats will often move to the end. You should stand in front of them because it is likely they’ve been riding for a while, increasing the likelihood that they’ll get off soon (leaving the seat for you!)
Look for indicative signs that people are about to get off: Looking out the window, putting away books or headphones, glancing at the tsurikawa (straps to hold on to to keep you from falling over), any signs that they might get off soon.
Judge from clothing or items in riders’ hands where they will get off: Check for school uniforms or company seals or envelopes to predict where they’ll get off. You can also tell from regular clothes, such as a housewife working part time or a student at a preparatory study school.
Remember the faces of people who always get off at the same station: Salarymen are the easiest to remember. It is also effective to write your own list of people’s features.
You can guess where someone will get off by what they’re reading: Hardcover readers are long commuters, while people reading paperbacks often have short commutes. You can also tell where someone will get off by labels indicating the libraries where the books came from. There are also theories that people who read sports newspapers tend to have long commutes.
The bulk of the story comes from interview with self-described experts on finding seats in crowded trains Hajime Yorozu, a worker at a publishing company who is such an expert he has his own mail magazine and book on the topic.
The list in Japanese can be found at this blog in case you don’t believe me. The above image was ripped off from this blog that also covered the Nikkei story. Thanks again, Technorati!
Japan Media Review follows up on earlier Kyodo reports that the Japanese government was trying to end anonymity on the Internet by teaching them to use their real names on blogs from a young age, information that I passed along earlier.
Turns out the government has a slightly more nuanced take on the situation:
Later Monday, however, an anonymous blogger who calls his Weblog a “Diary of a Kasumigaseki Bureaucrat” (Kasumigaseki is the Tokyo district where most government offices are located) took the trouble of leafing through the panel’s draft report that had been published online earlier in the month and discovered that many of the Kyodo report’s descriptions didn’t match what the panel actually said in its report.
For instance, the blogger noticed that nowhere in the report did the panel actually advocate calling on people to use their real names in cyberspace, or to drop using screen handles. Rather, it outlined a more subtle argument. It noted that the prevalence of anonymity in Japan has led to an atmosphere in which many feel that it doesn’t matter what they do or say in cyberspace so long as they are not caught. To that end, raising the credibility of the Internet in Japan will require an improvement of general public “morals” online. Consequently, the report said, “It is necessary to teach [children] how to interact naturally with each other in cyberspace, using either their real names or some kind of assumed name.” Thus, he noted, the Ministry accepts anonymity, so long as it is practiced with good “morals.”
Moreover, business journalist Hiroyuki Fujishiro, writing his own column about the blogging world for Nikkei BP, checked the 86-page final draft of the panel’s report that appeared Tuesday. He noted that much of the rather inflammatory writing in the original Kyodo article, in which the Internet is called a “hotbed of evil” or “hotbed of dangerous information” and where anonymity is linked somehow to online suicide sites or to online information about bomb-making, does not appear in the report. He did find, however, that the panel displayed considerable concern about the “dark side” of the Internet, one feature of which was the irresponsible behavior that stems from anonymity.
I highly suggest that you check out Japan Media Review if they’re at all interested in Japanese and wants to read news about Japan or in Japanese. Their analysis is great and they offer a good set of links as well. Especially now that I don’t have the time to exhaustively check Japan news myself, I may end up depending on their coverage to keep up with media happenings. Thank god they’re funded by the US government.
To many Americans, Japanese television has a reputation for being free of the ludicrous broadcast restrictions of American television, thanks in part to violent/sexually explicit anime and shows like “Banzai!” and “Most Extreme Elimination Challenge” (and not to mention the infamous “Chris Farley on a Japanese game show” sketch from Saturday Night Live).
However, one should not be misled. While Japanese and American mores differ (e.g.: talking about/depicting excrement is not nearly as taboo as it is in America), Japanese television, just like its counterparts in the United States and elsewhere, has a myriad of groups influencing programming choices, including pressure groups, politicians, and (most importantly) sponsors. The various pressures exerting on television in Japan have produced a regime of voluntary censorship. A list of “forbidden words” can be found here.
It is with that in mind that I present to you a report on the puzzling remarks of famous Japanese TV host Minomonta (host of the Japanese version of “Who Wants to Be A Millionaire” among many other things):
Minomonta’s painful misstatement — Sponsors furious, drop their support
“If you want a good digestive medicine I suggest you drink beer instead.”
Beer-loving Mino-san, who has appeared in beer commercials, lets his true thoughts slip out
It was found on June 23 that sponsors of TBS’ “Minomonta’s Morning Thwack!” (tr: My creative translation) pulled out of the show after host Minomonta (60), one of Japan’s most famous, made a grievously bad statement during the June 3 live broadcast.
The slip of the tongue occurred while discussing the article “A Doctor-Invented ‘Healthy’ Beer Garden” during a segment reviewing the day’s newspapers.
In a back-and-forth with a female announcer, Mino-san made one of his usual health-related comments, “The yeast in beer improves your immune system.” He then admitted to viewers that every morning he drinks a 50-50 mixture of beer and tomato juice every morning to stay healthy.
That by itself would have been fine, but Mino-san went on: “Everyone, you’re drinking that digestive drink, Biofermine, aren’t you? If so you should really just drink beer!”
Unfortunately, he was too late in realizing that, in fact, Biofermine (Headquartered in Kobe) is a sponsor of the show!
A frantic TBS apologized on the air 3 days later and even put apologies and corrections on its homepage: “Comparing beer, a luxury product, and drugs or quasi-drugs is a ridiculous proposition,” “(the concept of a beer health drink is) a mistake not based on the facts,” and “We are truly sorry.”
But eventually, they said, the company saw the statement as a problem and pulled their support on June 8.
On weekdays, Minomonta currently serves as host of both “Morning Thwack!” from 5am, and Nippon TV’s “Omoikkiri TV” from noon.
Since health-related comments on TV can have a profound effect on the sales of fruits, vegetables, and supplements, the sponsor simply could not let the comment slide.
Comment: Likely due to aggressive marketing, consumers in Japan are obsessed with healthy eating and the homeopathic effects of foods they eat. So in that context it is somewhat easier to understand Mino-san’s unpalatable choice of health drink and also the sponsor’s stern reaction to the misstatement. Thanks for letting me share!
The Japanese living in America’s west coast all thought it must be a dream: the words, banned from TV and thus not expected to be seen, were shown clear as day on their TV screens at the Mariners-Padres game on June 26.
In the 9th inning, an incident occurred during the live TV broadcast. An American fan held up a placard in Japanese with a terrible message:
“Ichiro has a small dick!” (イチローには小さいチ●ポがついています — of course there is a certain katakana letter that should go where the circle is)
The shocking scene lasted for about 3 seconds. There are occasionally fans who hold up Japanese-language signs, but almost no one on the broadcast staff in America can read Japanese. Thankfully this did not make it onto Japanese television, but the station was the victim of a cruel practical joke.
It was not a good day for Ichiro. He did not start. This is the first time in the season he has been of the starting lineup and would have been his 74th straight game. Mariners manager Hargrove explained, “It was my decision. Since there’s no game tomorrow he gets 2 days off by not playing today.” He had urged Ichiro to rest many times, but the answer was always no. After discussing for 20 minutes Hargrove made Ichiro rest by “forcible execution.”
Even his one at bat ended midway. “Players who are always in the starting lineup have a different method of getting worked up,” said a quiet Ichiro. Adding insult to injury was the unexpectedly offensive placard.
Comment: I can’t find a picture of the actual placard, but I’m sure you can imagine.
Some comments from 2ch:
This looks like the work of Hentai Mask! (tr: NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!)
(Written in a fake Korean accent) Some races do some terrible things, nida! But there’s no helping that since Japanese people are hated all around the world, nida!
