Category: Ranting

Ranting

The Weekend Frog: “Wow, he isn’t a retard after all!”

Readdressing an age-old question: how does a visibly non-Japanese person deal with living in Japan?

Everyone in my office is bilingual to some extent, but the lingua franca is Japanese. When the three foreign employees use English in the office, people almost seem surprised at how good we are at it. Or, in the words of my boss, they seem to be thinking: “Wow, he isn’t a retard after all!”

But every day I have to go outside, into the Real Japan, where speaking English to a foreigner is a much more natural feeling. Hell, it’s practically a legal presumption now. I can tell you from personal experience that bureaucrats definitely treat you better when you speak to them in English. Even in our office, our Japanese clients are put at ease when they can practice their English on a foreign lawyer, but have the option to switch back into Japanese if the conversation starts getting difficult.

I occasionally poke around on mixi when I’m bored, and sometimes I enjoy slipping into the discussions in a group called 英語★できる人＆勉強してる人 (“ENGLISH – People who know it and people who study it”). A high school-aged girl in Yokohama made a post a few weeks back along these lines:

I’m working part-time at a convenience store now, and I get quite a few foreign customers. I don’t know much English, but I’m wondering what I should say to them in English. Any ideas?

There were a bunch of replies, with varying degrees of appropriateness. I decided to slip in the Debito answer to this question at the bottom of the thread:

These are all good ideas. One thing you should watch out for, though, is that many foreign people in Japan want to speak Japanese. So if you see someone and immediately think “Oh, I’m going to speak English to them!” they might not appreciate it. Of course everyone has a different attitude, but there are such people out there.

Now I disagree with that suggestion. I remember poking through a book that advised people learning Japanese to “say you don’t speak English.” That’s an effective response, but it always struck me as extreme. Do I really have to lie to speak in Japanese with people on the street?

The Debito answer isn’t the right answer. The better example comes from Anthony Bianchi, the Brooklyn-born city councilman in Aichi Prefecture who we started talking about a few days ago. He likes who he is. As a result, people like who he is. He doesn’t need to file lawsuits to get his way: he can get himself elected.

In the Campbell hero archetype, this is called being the Master of Two Worlds. This is what you get when you blow up the Death Star, ride your horse into the sunset or accept surrender papers on a battleship in Tokyo Bay.

Now, I started writing this post as a bitchfest after a trip to Wendy’s came out like this:

ME: Bacon burger set.
EMPLOYEE [apparently a trainee]: Uh…. fo-a hee-uh o-a to go-o?
ME: [getting impatient] For here.
EMPLOYEE: [motions vaguely toward the set options part of the menu]
ME: Fries. Pepsi.
EMPLOYEE: S, M, L?
ME: (sigh) I want the small size, please.

The employee proceeded to ring up a small fries and small drink, but no burger. I didn’t want to make the situation any more difficult for him, so I paid my 200 yen, ate and left.

But in the end, there’s a comfort zone in Japan. It’s not enough to be Japanese or American… you have to be able to be both at once. And that’s something I’ll have to work on a bit. Maybe that kid just wanted to speak English; maybe he isn’t a retard after all.

More Kabuki PLUS – Blast and Slam: My two favorite news cliches

I hereby present my dear readers with yet another example of the growing usage of “kabuki” as a political metaphor for either boring deliberations or carefully calculated horse-and-pony shows (if I may use one cliche to explain another). This was linked to on the front page of Slate.com:

The Full Kabuki: Everybody’s happy, nothing changes.
By Mickey Kaus
Updated Thursday, April 6, 2006, at 6:36 AM ET

The Full Kabuki: On immigration, the stage is set for a classic Washington stalemate in which all the actors–at least the Republican actors–get to position themselves as advocating their desired brand of bold action, and nothing gets done. … As Charles Peters has written, in Washington, “Make Believe = Survival.”

I don’t really remember kabuki having many happy endings. Someone needs to decide on a real definition for “political kabuki” or perhaps just officially ban the term from public discourse. It’s lame!

What’s never lame, however, is the use of the words “blast” and “slam” over and over again in headlines to describe any kind of criticism. I mean, it does get a little stale, but I still get a kick out of shouting SLAM!!! whenever I read that a think tank isn’t into Bush’s tax plan. And remember what Slate’s Jack Shafer said: “If journalists weren’t allowed to recycle headlines every 10 years they’d run out of them.”

Here are some fun examples from recent news:

  • Ugly apartments SLAMMED into the stone age!

    • An artist's impression of Jurys Inn at Kings Dock

    Experts slam Kings Dock hotel design

    Apr 5 2006

    By Nick Coligan, Liverpool Echo

    TWO hotels earmarked for Liverpool’s Kings Dock have come under fire from architecture experts.

    The three-star-plus Jurys Inn and smaller Staybridge boutique hotel are dubbed “disappointing” and “not convincing”.

  • Moby BLASTS xenophobia with his techno-laser-glasses!

    • Continue reading More Kabuki PLUS – Blast and Slam: My two favorite news cliches

    Uncontent with barking up trees, Chinese plaintiffs switch to pissing in wind

    Since Japanese courts will not award them compensation, Chinese plaintiffs are now suing the Japanese government in Chinese courts to claim damages for Japanese actions during World War II.

    None of the more than 20 cases since the early 1990s had ended in success, Tong Zeng, a campaigner for the cause and chairman of the non-government Chinese Association for Claiming Compensation from Japan, was quoted on Monday as saying.

    “The likelihood of us winning the cases in the Japanese courts, influenced by right-wing forces who show no remorse at all, is very small” the Beijing Times quoted Tong as saying.

    The Japanese government insists that the issue of war reparations was settled by the 1951 San Francisco Peace Treaty, that formally ended the war, and by later bilateral treaties. It says all wartime compensation issues concerning China were settled by a 1972 joint statement establishing diplomatic ties.

    But Chinese courts also had jurisdiction over the claims and could hand down more fair verdicts — by trial in absentia if necessary, Tong was quoted as saying, adding the number of the lawsuits might jump due to the lower cost.

    Now, I’m sure a Chinese court can get around Paragraph 5 of the Joint Communique of 1972:

    The Government of the People’s Republic of China declares that in the interest of the friendship between the Chinese and the Japanese peoples, it renounces its demand for war reparation from Japan.

    ‘Cuz, after all, it isn’t the government asking for reparations. But that’s besides the point.

    Unfortunately for these plaintiffs, they’re obviously wasting their time, because you can’t effectively sue the Japanese government in China. This badly formatted but still useful summary details how foreign judgments are enforced in Japan. You have to go to Japanese court, and they have to make the following analysis before giving an injunction to enforce the foreign judgment.

    Article 118 of the Code of Civil Procedure

    A foreign judgment which has become final and conclusive shall have effect only if it satisfies the following conditions:

    i. the foreign court has jurisdiction according to laws or treaties;

    ii. where the defendant has lost the case, he was notified of the litigation by service of documents (except service by publication) or he had entered appearance before the foreign court;

    iii. neither the judgment nor the procedure of the foreign court is contrary to the ordre public of Japan; and

    iv. there exists reciprocity.

    Japanese courts refuse to enforce foreign judgments on “public policy” grounds all the time. For instance, if a Japanese defendant is ordered to pay punitive damages by a U.S. court, no Japanese court will enforce that part of the verdict, because punitive damages are against “public policy” under Japanese law.

    Given that these “right-wing” Japanese courts have already dismissed many claims for reparations, who’s to think that they’ll change their mind just because the case was tried in a different forum?

    I’ll grant you that these new lawsuits in China will be a PR field day for the Chinese government. A verdict might come down; Chinese police might try to seize Japanese assets in China, or something crazy like that, and will probably make governments the world over scratch their heads about whether they really want to do business in the Middle Kingdom.

    But that’s all they’ll be good for. Aside from having their issue publicized, the plaintiffs are not going to benefit. Meanwhile, watch as Sino-Japanese relations become even more screwed up. I’m glad to be living in Japan, where most people don’t subscribe to this lunacy (they have much more interesting lunacies here).

    Three cheers for Lin Wuei-chou

    From The Taipei Times:

    To highlight his disappointment with what he called the ongoing political confrontation within the Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) and its all-round degeneration, DPP Legislator Lin Wuei-chou (林為洲) yesterday quit the party, urging voters to quit political parties, become neutral and avoid getting caught up in the “partisan squabbles” provoked by politicians.

    Lin, who joined the party in 2000, released a three-page statement yesterday announcing his decision to quit.

    In the statement, Lin said he was loath to see both the pan-green and pan-blue camps take advantage of people’s passions to mobilize them to join large-scale parades and rallies that actually serve no concrete purpose whatsoever.

    Partisan politics in Taiwan are notoriously, nay, hilariously bitter. What exactly is Mr. Lin Wuei-chou trying to escape from? Here are a couple of examples that I have blogged in the past, plus one new one from the very newest issue of the Taipei Times.


    DPP Legislator Wang Shu-hui, left, attacks KMT Legislator Kuo Su-chun, right, after Kuo tore up a copy of Premier Frank Hsieh’s policy report that he was scheduled to deliver yesterday at the opening of a new sitting of the legislature.

    Speaking at a separate event, TSU Chairman Shu Chin-chiang (蘇進強), however called the government a “liar” in front of DPP Chairman Su Tseng-chang (蘇貞昌) at an activity held by the Hand-in-Hand Taiwan Alliance that both men attended yesterday morning.

    Shu’s remarks immediately made the atmosphere awkward.

    […]

    Sitting beside Shu, Su looked embarrassed and did not respond to his criticisms.

    The two men did not talk to each other and left the news conference separately.

    And from today…

    Friday, Mar 31, 2006,Page 4

    Minister of Education Tu Cheng-sheng (杜正勝) yesterday told reporters that Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) Legislator Lee Ching-hua (李慶華) had been acting like a three-year-old, one day after Lee called him “Dick Minister” and “Pert Minister,” referring to a shampoo brand, during a legislative committee meeting. The heated exchange of words arose over Lee’s discontent with a ministry-published high school sex education pamphlet which contained explicit sexual references. “If Lee had carefully read the pamphlet, he wouldn’t have noticed only the [explicit material]. Only three-year-old children would see nothing but [that material] in the pamphlet,” Tu said, adding that Lee was not a “well-educated person” and that him being a lawmaker could only waste the nation’s resources. When asked for comment, Lee said he had suggested Tu and his wife make public images of the two copulating in the pamphlet.

    United States partisan politics may not have quite yet reached this level of clownishness, but it’s close enough so that I’m disgusted with the whole business. Therefore, I am swearing an oath-if any major partisan politician running in elections for which I am eligible resigns from their party and severs all financial and organizational ties with the party, I will vote for you. I don’t care which party it is that you are leaveing, I don’t care how you feel about the Iraq War, or Medicare, or abortion, or school lunches, or even if you’re a holocaust denyer or a convicted rapist. If you follow the brave lead of Lin Wuei-chou in Taiwan, and tell the Washington based political party establishment to go fuck itself, I, who am not, never have been, and never will be a registered member of any political party, will vote for you.

    Am I a Japan Apologist? If so, sorry!

    Found on the Marmot, this look at Japan apologists in Korea before and during the colonial period is fascinating.

    It’s amazing to me how after Japan’s defeat in WW2 and subsequent economic growth and close relationship with the US, Westerners’ experiences in Japan have exploded from a few extremely coddled, monitored, and restricted professions (missionaries, academics, o-yatoi gaikokujin) to 10s of thousands of individual experiences in a free society and from a plethora of backgrounds (eikaiwa teacher, human rights activist, programmer, truck driver, Diet member, gangster). Meanwhile, both legal and illegal immigrants from China and Korea as well as those from “periphery” countries like Brazil, the Philippines, and Iran have made semi-permanent homes in Japan, adding to a growing multiculturalism that was spearheaded by the zainichi Korean population.

    Despite the surge in openness and the increased diversity and exposure both to and from the outside world that came with it, Japan’s obsessive image management remains along with the “foreign apologists” who are strikingly similar to those employed in the 1920s. There are plenty of them, including Gregory Clark and Ezra Vogel (DISCLAIMER: Haven’t read Vogel yet). But thankfully we live in a time when a) Japan apologists don’t have to overlook unarmed Koreans sliced in half on the street by Japanese soldiers; and b) Those involved with Japan professionally and otherwise have the breathing room to maintain a more sophisticated view of Japan than the Visit Japan Campaign marketing copy. People can even spend all their free time griping about how much Japan sucks even as they live there! Or, more constructively, they can unionize and try and improve their lot in life.

    This article and the discussion on “Japanophiles” at several blogs got me thinking – what is it that keeps me interested in Japan after not living in the country for almost 3 years?

    My own experiences in and related to Japan (obsessive language study, tumultuous relationship that ended in death threats, meeting and getting engaged to Mrs. Adamu here in Washington) have been, as life tends to be, bittersweet and full of as much pain as joy, but I still feel some pressure to speak well of Japan whenever someone (Japanese or non) asks me about it. Usually, I stick with the food. Nothing controversial about food, and really, Japanese food is the best. I used to have much more heartfelt and uncritical praise for Japan, back when the scenery, the people (“handler” types included), the language, and the fact that it wasn’t America kept me excited.

    But right now, I don’t feel one way or the other about “Japan” as a whole. For one thing, 2 years is not enough to truly understand what a whole nation is all about. As I’ve said before: I love Japan, but it’s screwed up. The society’s got major problems that have translated into things that have affected me personally. But at the same time, I’ve been fortunate enough to befriend enough real, intelligent, and genuinely friendly people to keep me from dismissing the whole country as the kind of place that wraps foreigners in lacquer. It makes me sad to see someone who was unable in 12 years to get past all the superficial stuff of first meetings (his “GAIJIN MEETS A FOREIGNER kabuki”). Of course, not speaking the language where English is not widely understood and perhaps just being a reporter might make things difficult. It’s hard not to worry about how you’ll come across in an article when talking to someone from the press.

    Anyway, as to the question in the title of whether I am a Japan apologist, I say not yet, but then no one’s paying me. Where I work (an American law firm) is about as far away as you can get from apologism. But if I were to get a swank job at JETRO or RIETI that might be a different story… Just let me apologize in advance for if and when I do get brainwashed and sucked into a world of untold luxury and all-you-can-eat sushi in exchange for my soul.

    (Image is random)

    Japanese version of Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force Sentenced to Prison


    Pervy pedagogue sent to prison after paying 15-year-old with fake cash

    OKAYAMA — A high court on Wednesday ordered a former junior high school teacher to spend 30 months in prison for buying the sexual services of a junior high school girl using counterfeit money.

    Toshihiro Takatsuki, 30, formerly a part-time teacher from Asaguchi, Okayama Prefecture, created 11 fake 10,000 yen notes using a color printer in February 2005, according to the ruling. A few weeks later, he paid a 15-year-old for sex using three of them.

    The judge at the Hiroshima High Court’s Okayama branch told the man that buying the sexual services of a junior high school girl and the use of bogus notes were shameful crimes, and that he couldn’t avoid a prison term.

    However, the judge handed down a sentence shorter than that previously given by the lower court, saying that Takatsuki had already reached an out-of-court settlement with the woman for using the counterfeit notes. (Mainichi)

    March 22, 2006

    Lame alliteration in the headline aside, it takes a lot of balls to try paying an underage hooker with fake money. Maybe he should have tried paying with pennies!

    Also, the Japanese version of the story contains my new favorite yojijukugo (four-kanji phrase): 偽札売春 (にせさつばいしゅん） “Counterfeit bill prostitution.” Try and use it in a conversation some time this week.

    Finally, what kind of “settlement” was reached over the counterfeit notes?! Did she sue him for the money he owed her for the sex? I couldn’t imagine the legal basis for a hooker to sue her john for using fake money. Can anyone explain that to me?

    Another PSE Update – Asahi Apologistic in semi-anonymous column

    In response to massive protest (including a petition drive with 75,000 signatures), the government has compromised to weaken the abonimable PSE Law (previous MF posts on the law that will end vintage electronics sales in Japan as we know it here, here, and here) to exempt vintage musical instruments and allow dealers to perform the required electrical safety tests themselves. The govt even intends to establish government-sponsored testing centers to facilitate implementation of the law. Furthermore, they have said that conducting the PSE test will not open the seller to liability for the product’s electrical safety. (Source: Nikkei March 21 Morning Edition – not online yet). Unfortunately, the government has only decided to exempt some products from the law etc, not exactly the acknowldgement of antique electronics sales that the Synthesizer Programmer Assoc. wanted.

    Back on March 5, the very idea of a law that would needlessly outlaw vintage electronics had populist blogger Kikko angry. She made a very good point in her rant on the evils of the law (paraphrased because Kikko’s writing style is impossible to translate):
    Continue reading Another PSE Update – Asahi Apologistic in semi-anonymous column