The Ten Billion Names of Kim Jong Il

Harper’s magazine has graciously published a list of names which the North Korean government claims foreign leaders use to refer to Kim Jong Il.

Supreme Commander at the Forefront of the
Struggle Against Imperialism and the United

Greatest Saint Who Rules with Extensive

Lode Star of the Twenty-First Century
Best Leader Who Realized Human Wisdom
Leader with Extraordinary Personality
Perfect Picture of Wisdom and Boldness
Eternal Bosom of Hot Love
Master of Literature, Arts, and Architecture
World’s Best Ideal Leader with Versatile

Humankind’s Greatest Musical Genius
Master of the Computer Who Surprised the
Man with Encyclopedic Knowledge
Guardian Deity of the Planet
Heaven-Sent Hero
Power Incarnate with Endless Creativity
Greatest Man Who Ever Lived
Present-day God
World’s Greatest Writer

You know, he may have something here. From now on I would like to be referred to as “World’s Best Ideal Leader with Versatile Talents.”

For a profile of the Dear Leader see my earlier post.

2 thoughts on “The Ten Billion Names of Kim Jong Il”

  1. “World’s Best Ideal Leader with Versatile
    Talents” which leads me a to a Bill Maher-style New Rule:

    New Rule: If you want two adjectives to describe yourself, the first one can’t be the dictionary definition of the second one.

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