Drinking on the job just got a whole lot healthier?

beer yeast pills?

Saw this in an ad for “Asahi Super Beer Yeast” from the Nikkei.

Fortified with vitamins and minerals! This is the oyaji equivalent of marketing sugared cereals as “part of a balanced breakfast.”

One may recall my post on this topic a while back.

Two possibilities: a) His comments weren’t accidental at all but a strange form of viral marketing; or b) Someone at Asahi got the idea for this after his comment and possibly other propaganda started creating a buzz for healthy effects of beer. Hell, they already sell “Diet” happoshu.

The popularity of these “snake-oil” products in Japan simultaneously fascinates and infuriates. They clearly have no medical value but are popular in part due to the deep belief by many Japanese people in superstitions like the ability of blood type to determine personality. Even those who don’t buy in still know their blood type and know how to work it into a conversation. It may be sapping the time and energy of Japan’s biggest drug companies, but it sure is fun to watch.

That is not to say Americans are free from this parasitic organic supplement craze. Look at this ad for “brewer’s yeast” (spelling errors corrected):

Brewer’s Yeast is an excellent source of protein and several B-vitamins.

It is produced by cultivation of Saccharomyces cerevisiae on malted barley in the production of beer. After fermentation, the yeast is separated from the beer, roller dried and debittered.

Why not just eat food with protein and B-vitamins in it? I’m not an expert, so I’d appreciate the opinion of anyone knowledgable in the medicinal benefits of yeast (I mean, I thought it caused infections?!)

On language skills in the Tokyo legal market

If you head to Japan to find a legal job, you’ll realize something pretty quickly: What school you went to, what you did there, and what work experience you have, all trumps your Japanese ability. Easily. A person from a top-20 school who speaks no Japanese at all is miles ahead of a person from a second or third-tier school who’s totally fluent.

That’s not to say language doesn’t matter at all. It can save an otherwise crappy resumé (mine comes to mind), and it can qualify a person for a better job. If you have an Ivy League degree and speak Japanese, the town is your oyster. But it’s not nearly as important as the other qualifications that law firms look for back in the US.

I used to think this was just a matter of priorities: firms value nice schools over language ability, since the schools woo clients more easily, there’s no shortage of translators and interpreters to bridge the language gap, and many Japanese clients don’t expect to see a gaijin speaking their language anyway. No doubt all of these factors play a role.

But I was recently talking to a seasoned lawyer from a big American firm in Tokyo, and he said that language skills can actually be a problem for many clients. That made no sense to me, so I prodded him on. “It’s actually pretty simple,” he said. “In many cases, they don’t want you to know everything that’s happened on their side of the case. If you know Japanese, you have a way of independently finding out. So if you don’t know Japanese, they figure they have more control over you.”

So what’s the best solution? Know the language, but don’t make the fact readily apparent?

Bush’s NHK Interview

If you weren’t convinced that listening to our President speak in public is like watching a drunk make his way across 32 lanes of fast moving traffic frogger-style, while you stand on the other side watching helplessly, unable to do anything about it, then just read this interview he gave to NHK last week.

He’s just a — well — he’s just a bad speaker. He doesn’t speak well. He’s just — inarticulate — I think that’s what it’s called. And when he talks, it just isn’t — I mean, he just can’t say — he doesn’t really know what he’s talking about.

Frogger

Here are a few of my favorite nuggets:

On Japan’s concern that it might be drawn into U.S. international strategy:

THE PRESIDENT: Well, first of all, Japan makes the decisions that the government thinks is necessary. Japan is, of course, a sovereign nation.

Glad that’s cleared up, but I’m even more glad no one asked him about Taiwan.

On the SDF redeployment:

Q:And will you be urging Prime Minister Koizumi to prolong its deployment period as the mandate expires next month?

THE PRESIDENT: Well, I’m aware the mandate does expire.

Oh, well that’s good that you know and all, ’cause y’know, the reporter just told you five seconds ago.

And finally, on beef imports:

Q: Lastly, it has been two years since Japan has banned imports of beef.

THE PRESIDENT: Yes. (Laughter.)

Q: What do you expect?

THE PRESIDENT: Well, I understand this is a very — that the — this is a difficult issue. I’m also pleased to see that the food safety commission — I think that’s what it’s called —

Q: Yes.

THE PRESIDENT: — has ruled that U.S. beef is safe. Of course, our cattlemen here believe the beef is safe. I’m more than willing to eat U.S. beef, and do — eat a lot of it. And my point is, is that I hope that the government follows through with the recommendations of the safety commission — or just decides about opening the market and listens to the safety commission because we feel like not only our beef is safe, but it’s an important part of our cattle industry to be able to sell to the Japanese consumer.

Wait a minute, what was your point again?

I feel sorry for whoever had to translate this into Japanese.

The symbolism behind Olympic mascots

The five friendlies are an incredible little family carefully chosen by Beijing 2008 to represent all of China to carry a message of friendship to the children of the world.

So said International Olympic Committee president Jacques Rogge over the weekend in a statement that was read at a nationally televised gala at a Beijing sports arena to mark the 1,000-day countdown until the Games.

With that usual Chinese flair for combining numeration and words that sound like they should have no plural in English, Beijing announced its mascot(s) for the 2008 Olympics, “The Five Friendlies.”

5F

Reading the story got me curious about past Olympic mascots, so I set out to do a little research on the topic. On a side note, for those who want to put a wager on the Olympics, they can conveniently do so on sites such as 홈카지노.

The tradition of selecting a mascot for the games began in 1968 with the Winter Olympics held in Grenoble. The first mascot was Schuss, and was a figure with a large round head crouched down on a pair of skis. Schuss was followed four years later by Waldi, the first official mascot, which was a multicolored Dachshund chosen to represent Munich in the 1972 Winter Games.

Since then, every host county has chosen a mascot that more or less symbolized some representative aspect of local culture or that was symbolic of the games themselves. Los Angeles had Sam the Eagle in 1984, Moscow had Misha the Bear in 1980, and Montreal had Amik the Beaver in 1976. At least three of Waldi’s colors were official Olympic colors, and Japan chose four mascots to symbolize the four years between the games. (The one possible exception, which I like to tell myself is no symbolic reflection on U.S. culture, is Izzy, the cosmic nightmare that Atlanta dreamed up for the 1996 Summer Games.)

So now we add to those ranks The Five Friendlies. But what of their symbolism? Apart from the obvious meanings (e.g. Panda, the Tibeten Antelope, etc…), are their names – Bei Bei, Jing Jing, Huan Huan, Ying Ying, and Ni Ni. Perceptive readers with a some knowledge of the Chinese language will recognize that taking the first syllable of each name yields the phrase, 北京欢迎你, or “Beijing welcomes you.”

This is not the first attempt at such punnery. The Japanese chose as their mascots for the 1998 Nagano Olympic Games, the Snowlets, four owls with the names, Lekki, Tsukki, Sukki, and Nokki. Taking the first syllable of each of their names produces the wonderfully Japanese phrase, レッツ・スノー, which rendered into English is, “Let’s Snow,” something that makes sense (even in English) only to Japanese or to gaijin who spent time in country (and even then, the verbal usage of “let’s” as a verb can prove confusing for foreigners.)

These choices reminded me of something an undergraduate history professor of mine once said about the Japanese and Chinese languages. He told our class that the first thing a Chinese teacher does is to give every student a Chinese name in Chinese characters. From then on, that is your name when you are speaking Chinese. The Japanese not only don’t give anyone a Japanese name, but they have an entirely separate phonetic system to express the Japanese version of foreign names.

Those readers who have spent time in either of these countries probably already see what he was getting at, but it has to do with the degree of inclusiveness of each culture. And at the risk of sounding too culturally deterministic, I think there is something similar to be said about the choice of mascots by these two countries. Japan’s Snowlets were clearly meant for a domestic audience, which is fair enough. After all, Japan was hosting the games. But their attempt at linguistically and symbolically reaching out pales in comparison to the Chinese effort. (It also shows one of the things Japan does best these days – cuteness.) While I’m sure China no doubt hopes the Five Friendlies will be a hit domestically, everything from the choice of the word “friendly” to the welcoming pun formed from their name indicates the kind of message Beijing hopes to send to the world.

China’s choice also says something about the degree to which its “peaceful rise” diplomacy has been incorporated in creative and non-traditional ways into popular culture. Whether one buys into the message or not, one can’t accuse the Chinese of not trying.

That said, their efforts proved vain in winning my heart for the best Olympic mascot ever, which hands down goes to the unofficial mascot of the Sydney Games…

Fatso

…Fatso, the fat-arsed wombat.

Recommended reading: Okamoto’s Iraqi “Food” Diary

If you’re “nihongo-ready,” or don’t mind wading through unreadable text to look at awesome photos, visit Okamoto’s Iraqi “Food” Diary. Hiroshi Okamoto is a photographer who went to Samawah, Iraq on assignment. He took pictures of food, people, more food, more people, and the occasional borderline war zone. And, like any good Japanese person, he complained about the lack of beer.

Adamu’s initial response: “That is the most hep blog ever… tagging AND Iraqi food!”

Abe the tight-lipped?

The Yomiuri Online has posted an portions of a transcript of an interview with newly appointed Chief Cabinet Secretary Abe Shinzo under the headline “Abe tight-lipped about political ambitions.”

Abe

Here’s an excerpt:

The Yomiuri Shimbun: Opinion polls have shown you to be the front-runner in the race for the post-Koizumi era. Are you willing to take power?

Shinzo Abe: I’m in a position in which I must fulfill my duties as Prime Minister Koizumi’s right-hand man. I therefore must refrain from speaking out about my own political agenda.

How would you make good use of your current position as you seek to take power?

I’m still immature as a politician, really. As chief cabinet secretary, I must play a leading role in coordinating policy making processes in which all ministries and agencies are involved. I’m sure I’ll face a number of ordeals. My position will give me a chance to continue working hard as a politician.

Tight-lipped you say?

I’d say he’s made it rather clear in these comments that he fully intends to make a run for the LDP presidency next fall (not that anyone who is paying attention really needed another confirmation of this).

One of the most common criticisms of Abe as a candidate for Prime Minister is his lack of political experience. And one frequent commentary on Koizumi’s appointment of Abe as Chief Cabinet Secretary was that it was a move calculated to make up for Abe’s lack of experience. Now, here we have Abe first recognizing this weakness, and then hinting that his new role will provide ample opportunity for him to lessen it.

Don’t be surprised if next Semptember we hear it pointed out that, “when Abe first took this position, he was still rather immature as a politician. However, he’s faced a number of ordeals and come out of them more mature and experienced.”

p.s. He also wasn’t very tight-lipped about policy towards North Korea, including the use of sanctions to force the return of all abductees, even those merely “belived to be abducted.” Given the grass-roots popularity for the abductee issue, if that’s not openly campaigning for office, I don’t know what is.

East Asia in sexual trouble

Coming Anarchy filed a report on the latest Durex Global Sex Survey (get the PDF here). Some disturbing numbers to report out of East Asia. First of all, Chinese women have unnecessarily exciting lives, demonstrated by the following rates:

China Japan World
Unplanned pregnancies under 16 17% 1% 4%

Unplanned pregnancies, 17-19 18% 2% 5%

Unplanned pregnancies over 19 20% 6% 10%

Sexually transmitted infections 18% 8% 13%

East Asians don’t particularly like their sex lives, but don’t seem to have high aspirations, either.

China Japan World
“Happy with my sex life” 22% 24% 44%

“Don’t have a high sex drive” 17% 16% 7%

“Sex life is monotonous” 17% 13% 7%

“I wish I had sex more often” 20% 25% 36%

Note that China has an historical aversion to sex of sorts, although things are changing there rapidly. Still, Japan is much sluttier than China: the average Japanese person has had ten sexual partners, while the average Chinese has had only three. Surprisingly, though, vibrators are slightly more popular in China than in Japan. Go figure.

UPDATE: Younghusband linked to the Japanese reaction in the comments over at CA. Priceless quotes:

Chisato, 28: “The problem is that many men are not aggressive enough in Japan. They are timid and do not hustle hard enough to get the opposite sex into bed.” SUSTAINED

Kawachan, 19: “Japanese in general are pure and not as perverted as other countries, when it comes to sex.” OVERRULED

Random awesomeness – video sites, Japanese quiz


First up is Net Cinema, a project sort of similar to the English-language ifilm. Features original shows starring B-grade actors such as former porn star Ai Iijima (NSFW), my favorite nutty rightwinger with googly eyes Terry Itoh (pictured above, left), and second-tier okama (gay) comedian KABA-chan. I haven’t got into any of the shows yet, but given some free time I’m willing to give it a chance out of pure longing for some semblance of Japanese TV. (Hmm, after watching a bit of Iijima-chan bitch about her stocks I am getting skeptical…)

Then there is Japanese Govt Internet TV. This site brings you various government propaganda featuring Koizumi, Abe, and all your other favorites in “high” definition streaming video! It worked great after I downloaded Windows Media Player 10. Koizumi had a swank Ramadan party with all his Muslim ambassador friends.

I’ve mentioned KOKKAI TV (Diet TV — great taste, less filling than regular TV! Watch here: Lower House, Upper House) before, but now it’s new and improved, allowing you to see higher definition video and archived footage. Want to see that magical moment when the postal privatization bills were passed? Just click on October 14, 2005!

Finally we have a fun little Japanese quiz at ALC. I got the first one wrong, and so should you! Updated daily.

That’s what’s wasting my time these days. Enjoy!