Review: Into the Sun (SPOILER ALERT)

Thanks Amazon

This is a review (with spoilers) of Steven Seagal’s latest crapfest, Into the Sun, but first some background:

Steven Seagal was 17 when he first made his way to Japan. By the time he left at age 32, he was the head of a major Aikido dojo in Osaka and spoke fluent Japanese. He then returned to his native California to become personal trainer to the stars.

Eventually he met Hollywood mogul Michael Ovitz and the rest was history: crappy action movie after crappy action movie. Yet something always puzzled me about Seagal’s career: he rarely if ever brings up Japan and hasn’t really attempted to become a gaijin tarento despite his fluence in Japanese and obvious desire for stardom.

There are a few possible explanations for such reluctance. In interviews, Seagal comes off as extremely humble (even though he could beat your ass just by thinking about it), a trait he likely learned in Japan. When asked why he left Japan, Seagal betrays his tough exterior and claims to be shy of the spotlight:

When I was in Japan, people tried to deify me, and the reason I left there was that deification is truly a death trap. That is a reason why I kept my spiritual practice to myself in America. I don’t think deification has been one of my biggest problems in life because I am lucky enough to have understood a long time ago what adoration and power really are about. I think the great obstacle was just a lack of understanding of the way.

My translation: “There’s no money to be made in Japanese showbusiness.” (See this good article for more on the Japanese entertainment industry)

Anyway, Seagal’s first wife was Japanese, and depending on how bad their divorce was I would understand if he didn’t feel like immersing himself in Japanese stuff for a while.

The actor seems to be coming out of his shell, finally, with his new movie Into the Sun. Let me start out by saying some nice things about the film. It was well-shot, there are lots of good-looking actresses dressed impeccably, and Japan is filmed very realistically and without the usual stereotypes. Seagal wrote the screenplay and obviously wanted to make sure his beloved Japan got treated well. The plot is ripped from the headlines as well, dealing with such up to the minute subjects as Japan’s ultra-conservative, anti-foreigner governor Ishihara Shintaro and the Chinese mafia’s expansion into Japanese territory.

The plot: Seagal stars as a retired US government agent (CIA? Special Forces? We are never told) who grew up in Japan and has decided to live out his golden years as a part time sword salesman and a full time badass. However the yakuza/triad-related murder of the anti-foreigner governor of Tokyo forces the CIA to bring him out of retirement in hopes that they can crack the case. Why is the CIA investigating the murder of a Japanese politician? “They could be terrorists.” Welcome to post-9/11 America, where non-sequiturs like that are the major themes of presidential addresses.

However, what the CIA (and the producers for that matter) didn’t bet on when they put Seagal on the case is that he is a complete fuck-up. Continue reading Review: Into the Sun (SPOILER ALERT)

The many faces of Koizumi

with koizumi
Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi strikes a dynamic pose with a very proud local official.

koizumi in beads
Here he is woven in beads.

koizumi float
Koizumi as a Tanabata festival float.

plate
Forever love, forever dream indeed.

nurigurumi
Stuffed Koizumi.

pitch
Tossing the first pitch at a game.

samurai koizumi
As a Samurai.

lion-koizumi
He likes to dress up sometimes.

hair
Here he is pointing out how great his hair is to the press corps.

ramen
Enjoying a bowl of ramen.

koizumi with pig

And of course, Koizumi shaking hands with Don-nam Li (李豚男), the leader of the reclusive People’s Republic of Sokdo on his much heralded milestone diplomatic mission.

Koizumi the maverick

After my previous post on the real political reasons for Prime Minister Junichiro’s visits to the Yasukuni shrine, some readers may be wondering, “is this guy really a maverick?” I think the examples below will show that by Japanese standards, he’s practically James Dean.

First is a translation of a brief article I found on the Sankei website a few weeks ago but never got around to posting until now.

Prime Minister, ‘No Necktie Proclamation’

Prime Minister Junnichiro Koizumi on the 29th at a meeting of the Global Warming Countermeasures Promotion Headquarters in his official residence made a proclamation declaring “No necktie, no jacket. He also called upon to cabinet ministers to join him in incorporating it into environmental problem.

The PM stressed to the press corps that from now on, “If ministers in public offices do not also go necktieless then it will be difficult for their inferiors to do so.” He sought approval saying, “I will also go no-necktie and no-jacket, and I would like everyone to play along. Won’t it be better for everyone?”

Regarding the no-necktie, no-jacket style, Environmental Minister Yuriko Oike said “If this concerns you so much, why don’t we just have a fashion show?” It seems that this summer the fashion sense of the Prime Minster and the cabinet will be coming into question.

From Kyodo news, March 29.

Japan Today’s always entertaining Pop-vox feature has some ‘man on the street’ opinions on this issue.

Next, here is a genuinely amazing picture of Koizumi, courtesy of the Shanghai Star. Can you name another politican who would dress up as Willy Wonka to teach children about bicycle safety?

Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro
Koizumi, wearing a suit with woven-in reflective material, rides
a bicycle in front of Japanese schoolchildren at a government-sponsored traffic safety campaign
event at a Tokyo elementary school on April 9. Koizumi visited
the school to talk to children about the importance of traffic
safety.

Curzon at Coming Anarchy also found this picture of Koizumi establishing relations with Indonesia from the ground-up.

koizumi hula

Next, courtesy of Masa, we have a scan of the Shukan Gendai magazine’s ‘scoop’ photos of “The woman that Koizumi loved!”

Koizumi's geisha

Masa can of course explain the situation far better than I ever could.

Not only Clinton, but also Japanese prime minister, Koizumi also like to fuck. It’s absolutely true. following picture is Koizumi’s foremaer fcuking Geisha girl friend picture I took on the street and picked up by “Shukan Gendai” that is Japanese leading serious weekly magazine.
this geisha girl was really fucked by Prime minister Koizumi repeatedlly.

Finally, we have a very special message from Koizumi, direct to you. Ladies, try not to swoon.

Japanese Chinese food chains to open stores in China


Gyoza No Ohsho (餃子の王将 — Their gyoza are “Oh-sho” delicious!) was one of my favorite Chinese food places when I was living in Kyoto. Cheap sets, good food, and plentiful locations! My favorite was the ramen set: it included ramen, karaage, gyoza (of course), AND fried rice. Man was I full.

The branch right outside the Ritsumeikan campus was owned by a die-hard Beatles fan — he decked out his store with volumes upon volumes of manga (lots of ashita no joe, hajime no ippo, and captain tsubasa), rock ‘n’ roll memorabilia, and Beatles music (more often Beatles covers, actually) on the old-school stereo system he had set up. I was saddened to see one day that the whole place had been swept clean of any differentiating marks, and when I returned to Kyoto earlier this year it was “closed for repairs”.

BTW, Ohsho is some kind of mahjonng term, so the fact that they named a Chinese food chain after a mahjonng reference says something about what Japanese people think of when they think of China… what I’m not sure, but it definitely says something.

So on a completely unrelated note, recently I was Google-alerted to the fact that Ohsho is planning to open its first stores overseas in — no joke — China. And their timing couldn’t be better! Nikkei has the story:

Kansai’s Chinese food chains trying their craft on home turf
“Made in Japan” Image to appeal to middle and high-class customers (March 12, 2005)

Kansai’s restaurant industry, which has been making chain stores out of ramen stands and Chinese restaurants, continue to extend their businesses into China. At 10-30 yuan per customer (13 JPY), they plan to charge twice the amount of local restaurants. Reversing their low-price strategy for the Japanese market, the chains intend to exploit their Japanese image to target middle and upper class consumers. Escaping from the shrinking restaurant market in Japan, they are attempting to succeed in the home of Chinese cuisine.

In addition to Osaka Ohsho (opening in Shanghai, offering izakaya food as well, plans to franchise up to 25 stores) and “Bikkuri Ramen” (opening in Tsingtao, offering curry and donburi) which is famous for the 180 yen ramen bowl, Gyoza Ohsho is also opening a store in Dalian. They plan to offer grilled gyoza (generally not available in most of China), ramen, fried rice, and other items directly from the Japanese menu. They will consider expanding the chain after viewing results from the first store.

Forget history: Overview of Japan’s new textbooks

OK, so everyone’s mad about the stupid history books that no one uses? That’s fine, but let’s not forget the real story. In no more than a few short years after just beginning to institute educational reforms known as “Yutori Kyoiku” (Education with room to breathe), Japan’s OECD math test scores plummeted down to number two. Making matters worse, they lost out to KOREA of all countries. These developments, along with fears of rising crime by Japan’s youth, have begun a nationwide debate about the benefits of Yutori Kyoiku versus the traditional system we’re all familiar with.

Responding to the new trends in education, textbook makers have been struggling to stay relevant to youth while fulfilling the central government’s policy requirements (ie: passing the inspection). In with the crop of textbooks that were recently approved were a few strange ones. ZAKZAK has more:

A fly in the ointment? “Masturbation” passes textbook examination

Doraemon” and “Masturbation” are OK, but you can’t use “Tama-chan”?! The content of approved textbooks to be used this spring in middle schools was released April 5. Among the textbooks is a health text that tells of “masturbation” as “the self-pleasuring of a woman”. However, mentions of the character “Tama-chan” from the popular manga/anime Sazae-san were not approved for use in classrooms.

Here are some more odd entries helpfully pointed out by Yomiuri Online:

Chat Smileys, Today’s Japanese: you can read all about them in the new approved textbooks for junior high students

“Ions”, “Heredity”, “Inequality” — “Progressive” curricula that did not exist 4 years ago have returned to the Education Ministry inspections

Here are the new junior high textbooks released to the public April 5th. With contents that surpass upper-level students and exceed the Education Ministry guidelines, there are also many pages devoted to review of elementary school material. As the aptitude of students becomes increasingly polarized, voices of confusion as to what to do with shrinking classroom time mixed with the welcoming of these new texts.

 ◆Smileys

Multiple publishing companies have published tables showing the differences between Japanese and English-language “smileys” such as “laughing face”, “crying face”, and “winky face”, considered useful for Japanese students communicating with foreign friends in English. Japanese smileys use round parentheses to simulate the outline of a face from the front, but in English-language smileys symbols such as “:” and “;” are used as eyes and the face is displayed sideways.

 ◆Equal representation of gender

An English textbook for second-year students introducing various occupations drew concern from inspectors that “it was lacking necessary consideration for a society of equal participation of the sexes” — of 30 occupations displayed only 6 of the illustrations were of women. Because of this, the textbook company changed 9 of the illustrations, including a police officer and a lawyer, from men to women, and the result was 14 men, 15 women — almost equal except for the astronaut whose sex is unclear.

 ◆The ever-changing Japanese language

For Japanese instruction, one company released 3 books that touch on the corruption of Japanese in sections such as “today’s manner of speech”. In one part, written by popular TV host Kajiwara Shigeru, questions modern usage by comparing phrases such as 「こちら味噌(みそ)ラーメンになります」 (“Here’s your miso ramen.”) and 「こちら味噌ラーメンでございます」 (“This is miso ramen.” [tr: ROUGH translation, no questions please]), asking readers, “Which store would you rather eat at?”

 ◆Frogs

One textbook brings back “frog dissection” to science classrooms. This first appeared in Ministry of Education guidelines in 1958. Since then it was widely used, but criticisms that it “goes against the principle of respect for living things” caused it to show up less and less, and it has been absent from modern textbooks. The editor explains, “We included it in the interest of putting in as much material as possible, but we put it at the end since there was some resistance to including it in the main text.

 ◆Separate last names for married couples

There was a textbook in use that portrays separate last names as one possible choice for when people get married, but the Education Ministry changed its inspection policy to “the legalization movement for separate last names has stalled because there are arguments for and against it“, and has issued opinions stating that text previously approved “may give the mistaken impression that separate last names for married couples has been achieved”. The textbook company involved removed it from the list of options.

“Ritual” Pro Wrestling at Yasukuni Shrine: ZERO-ONE MAX


From SANSPO:

Yasukuni Shrine in Kudan, Tokyo, held the first “ritual” pro wrestling match “Yamato Land of the Gods Strength Festival” in 44 years on April 10th.

Six matches were held by the ZERO1-MAX wrestling league in the outdoor compound, where the burning flames lit up the fully bloomed night cherry blossoms. The main event, AWA heavyweight world champion Omori Takao (35) successfully defended his title for the second time. Ogawa Naoya (37) of UFO and Takefuji Keiji (42) of AJPW made guest appearances, exciting the 3627 fans crowded into the shrine. “It’s wonderful to be at such a special place,” gushed ZERO1 Representative Otani Shinji (32).

The last ritual match was held in April 1961 with Rikidozan protegees Giant Baba and Antonio Inoki. 5000 people came to see it back then. There was also an historic March 1921 mixed styles wrestling match at Yasukuni between American pro wrestler Ad Santel and Judo star Shoji Hikoo.

ZERO1-MAX would like to make the “ritual” pro wrestling a yearly spring tradition at Yasukuni.

Abiru Yuu to continue career as entertainer


Just a quick follow-up to my earlier posts on the subject:

Abiru Yuu to continue career

Abiru Yuu (18) who had been suspended for a comment made on a television program, reported the timeline of events and announced her return to show business on March 31 (tr: late, I know). “Now that I am returning, I would like to show some more maturity in my activities,” she explained.

Abiru got in trouble when she announced she was involved in shoplifting/theft in her past on the program “Coming Doubt”.

In other news, there’s a really good article about the “talent” scene on Japan Today’s Metropolis section that will help put the Abiru Yuu incident in persepctive:

They are everywhere—on TV variety shows, in dramas, singing at concerts, endorsing products on billboards, in commercials and attending glittery events. No matter what channel you watch or which magazine you read, you’ll see the same faces: Aya Ueto, SMAP, Yuko Takeuchi, Ayumi Hamasaki, Yukie Nakama, Becky, Papaya Suzuki and countless more.

The “talent” business in Japan is very different from the West. Someone like 19-year-old Ueto, for example, would seem to be making a fortune. After all, she is the TV commercial queen, a movie star, as well as a regular at promotional events. Yet she’s just an employee of her agency, Oscar Promotion. She is paid a wage and gets a percentage of what Oscar negotiates with its clients—the opposite of the US, where it’s the stars that pay their agents a percentage.

The production companies recruit hopefuls at a young age, train them and then supply them to the media, movies and events. When a new TV show or product endorsement is announced, the media get faxed invitations to the press conference, which they dutifully attend. The photos are then used to fill the tabloid magazines, while the TV variety shows replay the same footage four or five times on each segment. “It’s like a revolving sushi restaurant or a ‘UFO Catcher’ at a game center: There is a never-ending selection to pick from,” says Dave Spector, an American who has been a commentator on TV variety shows in Japan for 20 years.

Companies like Oscar, Johnny’s Jimusho, Sun Music and Yellow Cab have tremendous power when it comes to their talents, so much so that very few newspapers, magazines or TV stations dare carry negative stories. “The production companies are money-making machines,” says Tario Cham, who has operated the website jpop.com since 1996. “They work very hard to create an image that sells but also work very hard to protect that image.”

I encourage you to read the whole article, very interesting stuff!

Welcome to The World: What a shitty waste

Continuing our ongoing coverage of Rod Stewart’s every move, the singer has apparently purchased a private island shaped like the UK off the coast of Dubai, United Arab Emirates. Click the link to see a bunch of manmade islands positioned to look like a map of the world from an aerial view. The islands are being sold for resorts and mansions and whatever. In recent years, the Emirate of Dubai has been plunging headfirst into the upscale tourism industry, and they seem intent on both destroying the environment and showcasing a shocking lack of good taste in the process. (via BoingBoing)

Koizumi and Richard Gere finally meet — space time continuum remains intact… for now

OK, they look a lot less alike than they did when Koizumi first took office, but god damn:

UPDATE: For those who don’t see the resemblance, you may now shut the hell up and bask in the awe that was once the Mane of Richard Gere:
Look at all its...majesty!

It’s like an older white version of Koizumi came back to warn him about some future disaster… or maybe just dance the night away…

But seriously: what is going on? Assuming for a minute that Gere is the future Koizumi (and, just so we’re clear, I believe in this as surely as I believe in the tastiness of unagi-don), theoretically there should be a big problem. Movies have taught me that if the you of the future encounters the you of the past, there will be a rift in the space-time continuum and all existence shall be erased forever. Or could BTTF be wrong, and it’s totally OK for you to meet your future self (or even have kids with women from the past who are destined to liberate your people.. in the future…)

Or maybe it’s some combination of various sci-fi movies.. What if, for example, the BTTF warning about meeting your future self is true, but the space-time continuum doesn’t rupture instantly, instead taking 29 days to unravel a la Donnie Darko? The end may be coming folks… Feel free to share your own theories of what the Gere-Koizumi meeting portends for the survival of the universe!