Business Proposal #433: Engrish Insurance

For a reasonable premium, Mutant Frog Capital Partners┬« will send its “adjusters” around Tokyo to clean up any sad English mistakes perpetrated by your own careless workers on posters, stationery, food packaging or wherever it creeps up. Will also provide referral service for responsible employees to MFCP affiliate “Copywriting Ga Tanoshiku Naru Eikaiwa,” located at the scenic Iwo Jima Commercial Park.

First potential client: the “Independent Insurance Agents of Japan, Inc.

Sirs: We must sadly inform you that nothing makes you look less professional and more like pedophile hitmen than proclaiming “We Are the Professional” on your website.