Another bad kabuki metaphor spotted by Jon.

“It’s all a Kabuki dance,” said Winslow T. Wheeler, director of the military reform project at the Center for Defense Information and a former adviser to Senate Republicans.

If anyone knows about dancing, it’s the director of the military reform project at the Center for Defense Information.

I finally got my passport back on Friday from the Japanese Consulate in New York with my new working visa plastered in and I’m finally ready to book a flight over, and the New York Times has to go and run THIS story!

Brace yourself for a summer of miserable air travel.

Planes are expected to be packed fuller than at anytime since World War II, when the airlines helped transport troops. Fares are rising. Service frills are disappearing.

Logjams at airport security checkpoints loom as the federal government strains to keep screener jobs filled. The usual violent summer storms are expected to send the air traffic control system into chaos at times, with flight delays and cancellations cascading across the country.

I just got to Thailand on a trip to visit Mrs. Adamu. The flight over on Korean Air was awesome. Let me tell you why:

Flight attendants that are beautiful, attentive, yet creepily identical – same height, same skin tone, same body proportions, similar facial features, same voice – think Robert Palmer’s “Simply Irresistible” video meets Kim Jong Il’s personal cabaret troupe. They seem to be extremely weak – I was asked to help load a slightly heavy carry-on bag, and then someone else had to help another flight attendant close a storage hatch. Plus there must have been 5 costume changes over the course of the flight – aprons for the food service, plain white shirts during downtimes, and brown jackets for no discernible reason other than perhaps they look smart.

3 words – BIBIMBAP FOR LUNCH! And not just any bibimbap, this was actually fresh and good. Not the best Ive ever had, but it’s for damn sure the best airline food I’ve ever had. The rest of the fare was only above-average, but the frequent drink services and little perks like ice cream for dessert were nice touches.

Personal entertainment centers at each seat – even in coach! In the course of the trip, I caught up on the latest hits in Japan, learned that the US was continuing humanitarian aid to Hamas, saw some movies ranging from the awesome Glory Road and Syriana to this tepid Japanese movie about a boy who　becomes an elephant trainer. Also saw this insane Korean music variety show in which a) a member of the infamous DJ DOC sang a crappy R&B song with a 60-year-old man; b) Another performer suddenly busted out a line and c) An interview in which an older female singer scolded the younger host for using the Japanese word for “pants” (zubon).

Ignorant passengers – As we were about to land, an older Korean couple got out from their seats, piled their numerous carry-on bags in front of an emergency exit, and started staring out the window. It took a minute for the flight crew to notice in time to smack them upside the head verbally and send them back to their seats.

All in all a great ride and I highly recommend it – they don’t seem to have a restriction on carry-on bags either.

In the news:

[Virgin Galactic] spokesman Will Whitehorn told The Sun safety concerns have come to light for those who want to be launched in groups of eight to an altitude of more than 60 miles for 7 minutes of weightlessness.

“We’ve discovered there may well be issues with breast augmentation,” he said. “We’re not sure whether they could stand the trip—they could well explode.”

Now there’s something all those anime artists didn’t foresee.

On my favorite aviation gossip site, airliners.net, someone posted this Google Earth image of Heathrow Airport in London:

It looks like there are two planes on the same runway, and a third about to land on top of them. In reality, this is just an optical illusion of sorts caused by the way the composite is made: multiple photos are put together, and each photo is taken at a different point in time, resulting in what looks like too many planes on the runway. You can see similar effects around many other major airports. Or you might end up like this guy, who found an Airbus right over his house:

And the resolution is good enough to read the name of the airline!

I leave in a few hours to spend my spring break in Florida—actually one of the last places I expected to spend spring break, but Ms. Joe has a new, difficult job and needs someone to give her backrubs at night.

Anyway, Narita is a really inconvenient airport. No matter how you do it, it takes at least an hour to get there from the city. Then there’s the time you have to spend getting to wherever you’re boarding your transportation, and the time you have to spend wandering around the terminal to get where you need to be. If you’re like me, you also have to factor in the time you spend being held for questioning.

It used to be worse, actually. Back in the day, the trains to Narita didn’t even stop at the terminal. You had to get off on the edge of the airport property and then take a bus. Fortunately, the Transport Minister figured this was daft, and he opened up some underground platforms that were originally intended for a Shinkansen line. (He’s a great guy—his name is Ishihara.) So today, the trains drop you off inside the terminals… but you still have to go up four stories to get to check-in. Hmpfh.

So what’s the best way to get to and from the airport? Read the rest of this entry »

Fuerschbach v. Southwest Airlines has to be one of the most fun cases I’ve read in a while…

Several supervisors at Southwest Airlines convinced two Albuquerque police officers to stage an arrest of Marcie Fuerschbach, a Southwest Airlines employee, as part of an elaborate prank that included actual handcuffing and apparent arrest. This was a “joke gone bad,” and turned out to be anything but funny, as Fuerschbach allegedly suffered serious psychological injuries as a result of the prank. She sued the officers and the City of Albuquerque under 42 U.S.C. 1983, alleging violations of her Fourth and Fourteenth Amendment rights. Fuerschbach also asserted claims for various state torts against the officers, the city, her supervisors, and Southwest Airlines.

The full story after the jump…
Read the rest of this entry »

For today’s comic relief, a classic Fark post:

AWK! AWK!