The TV has claimed my life!

Some of you might be wondering where the hell I am most of the time. This conversation is illustrative:

Adamu: sup man
Joe: watching TV
Adamu: cweet
Joe: just saw ryoko hirosue score a penalty kick against a dog
Joe: then watched a guy get punk’d by another guy who dressed up as a panda

Normally, I hate TV, but there’s a lot of awesome stuff I’ve been watching lately:

  • Sumo. Foreign rikishi were such a great move! Now we have guys like Roho, who looks at his opponents with a face that says “Listen, buddy, I eat glass and shit sand.” And good ol’ Asashoryu, who’s fond of guts poses and doesn’t make secret his contempt for kimchi.
  • NHK’s Weeky News for Kids. The zero interest rate policy is so much more fun when you have a freaky cartoon character and a weirdo dressed in plaid trying to explain it.
  • Commercials featuring Japanese-speaking foreigners.
  • It’s damn funny to watch Shido Nakamura lamely explain that he was “only drinking oolong tea.”

Someday I’ll get in on the act with my own show, “Bengoshi no JOE!” Every Thursday night, I’ll decide a case along with my two co-judges, a random comedian/dietperson and a random “talent” with huge breasts.

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